


Return of the Widow

by tvLifeGirl12



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Multi, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov-centric, Natasha trigger words, Natasha was born in 1928, Past Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Red Room (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-04-17 16:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 40,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14193324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvLifeGirl12/pseuds/tvLifeGirl12
Summary: What happened to Natasha after Civil War? Just remember that all Soviet assassins have trigger words. It isn't Hydra's the world needs to worry about. The Red Room's are the worst.





	1. To Amsterdam She Goes

**Prolouge**

* * *

Bucky wasn't the one that had trigger words. All Soviet soldiers and assassins had a book. And not all of them had all of their memories. But they all have secrets. Natasha fit in that category. She had a book for her trigger words. She only has a small fraction of her memories. She had secrets on top of secrets. Some she didn't even know herself. Pretty much all of them she kept to herself. Only Clint, Laura, and Bucky knew them. Clint and Laura knew from her nightmares. Bucky knew because he remembered her, eventually. He remembered training her. He remembered slowly falling in love with her. He remembered the nights he and Natasha stayed up in secret. He remembered the stolen and gifted kisses and trading their hopes and fears. He remembered them getting caught and her being torn from his arms. Then he remembered both of them being wiped. He remembered Natasha being paired with Alexi, who later became her husband. She doesn't remember Alexi. Natasha doesn't remember a lot of things. She doesn't remember her parents, her actual last name, her actual birthdate, anything past 1989. Natasha doesn't know her last name is Romanova or that she was born in 1928. She knows she was given many serums, but she doesn't know everything that they did to her. She'll know soon. Everything will come back to her. But not without pain.

* * *

**Natasha's POV**

* * *

After she left the hospital, which was after her showdown with Tony, Natasha deleted everything on her phone, smashed it, wrote notes to Tony and Ross, packed some weapons, money, clothes, and a few other things into a black suitcase and went to a train station to buy a ticket to Amsterdam. Before she bought the ticket, she went into the bathroom to get a new look. It was a single-roomed bathroom, so it was just her. Natasha took some hair dye and applied it to her hair. They would be looking for red hair, not platinum blonde she thought. Then she reached into her bag and pulled out some scissors and hacked off her hair and placed in a plastic bag along with the hair dye. It stopped mid-neck now, instead of past her shoulders. Natasha gazed at herself in the mirror studying her new look. It was almost complete except for her eyes, makeup, and clothes. She pulled out a container filled with contact lenses. She picked the blue ones and put them in her eyes. Blonde hair, blue eyes, definitely not what Ross would be looking for. Natasha then changed into a yellow button-down shirt and a white pencil skirt. She applied mascara to her eyelashes, made some contour lines on her face, and put a deep red lipstick on her lips along with some blush and drawn in freckles. She was ready to go. Natasha stuffed her hair into the suitcase and switched out her wallet for the one with the fake ID and credit cards. Her name is Lotte Smitt now. No more Natasha Romanoff. Natasha Romanoff was the name of an Avenger. Lotte Smitt was the name of a young upcoming businesswoman who has returned back to her home country after a couple of years. Natasha left the bathroom, bought the train ticket, and boarded the train to Amsterdam.

_Hopefully the government thinks I would have gone farther than Holland. Clint, Wanda, Sam, and Antman please be okay. Poor Laura and Lila, Cooper, and Nathaniel. Clint said one more mission. It is his last. There's nothing I can do. I hope that Steve and James are okay. That this wasn't all for nothing. My reputation is completely down the drain. The WSC and US government and governments have an excuse not to trust me besides the info in the data dump from two years ago. Everything I told S.H.I.E.L.D. was laid out for their eyes to see. They wanted to lock me up, but they couldn't not back then. But now they can. I hope Tony forgives me. He should have known that I am always loyal to Steve and Clint. But Natasha you didn't have a choice. Ross told you he would revoke your citizenship in the US. Send you back to Russia. He knows that they would kill me as soon as they knew I was there. Their best agent, who betrayed them. Ross wants to kill me. Like most of Capitol Hill, he wouldn't mind me dying. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better for Clint to kill me. I wouldn't be in this mess right now. I could be burning in Hell right now. Or maybe I should have left Nadia take that mission. Clint could've killed her. I could still be with the Red Room. My home. I could-_

Her thoughts were interrupted by the conductor who asked,"Ticket please, mam."

"Yes hold on," Natasha replied with a heavy accent, as she reached into her wallet to get the ticket. "Here you are," she said.

The conductor took her ticket and scanned it. "Miss Lotte Smitt?"

"Yes, that's me," said Natasha smiling.

"Okay, have a nice day!" the conductor said and handed her ticket back.

Natasha took the ticket and placed it back into her wallet and went back to her thoughts.

_What was I thinking again? Oh yeah! I could go back to my old life. Killing people, but for money. Be the hitman you don't expect. It's a nice pay. No Natasha. Never again. Why would I think that. That's why the government can't trust me. A merciless killer working in the ranks of the government. Why would you let me do that. I can't be trusted. I could have a book of trigger words like Barnes. Someone could just show up and read them to me. There's nothing I could do. Unlike us, the Avengers, the government wouldn't show any mercy for taking down a brainwashed, Russian, assassin. I would win against them most likely but that would cause more fear and hatred against me. My life would be even worse._

The sound of the train stopping brought her back to reality. Everyone was leaving the train, so she joined them. Natasha grabbed her luggage and exited the train car hastily. She went through the passageways of the station which brought her to the front where there was a bus stop. She picked up a bus schedule from a stand next to the bus stop. A bus would be there in about four minutes for the route that she was taking. Natasha sat down on the bench next to the sign waiting for the bus, hoping that her disguise was good enough. The bus came after a few minutes. Natasha got on and sat in the middle on a seat that faced horizontal of the bus. The ride wasn't long even though it had a few stops. There wasn't too many people on the bus either. She got off at her which was near the outskirts of Amsterdam. There was an apartment complex there. Natasha remembered seeing it while she was on a mission here with Clint when she first joined S.H.I.E.L.D. It wasn't much but it would do. Small and cheap. Perfect. She went to the office area to see if there were any apartments available. There was a woman at the desk who looked quite bored. Natasha went up to her to talk about the apartments.

"Hallo mam. Hoe kan ik u helpen? (Hello mam. How may I help you?" asked the woman.

"Ik vroeg me af of er nog vacante appartementen waren. (I was wondering if there were any vacant apartments.)" said Natasha.

"Laat me controleren," she said. "We hebben alleen studio's over. Is dat goed? (Let me check. We only have studios left is that okay)"

"Dat is prima (That's fine)," Natasha replied.

"Oké, teken deze contracten gewoon aan en je zult goed gaan. (Okay, just sign these contracts and you'll be good to go)."

Natasha skimmed over the papers and signed them at the bottom. She handed them back to the woman, who checked to see if she signed everything. Then Natasha paid her the first rent amount which was listed on the contract. Then she gave Natasha a key.

"Deze gaan naar kamer 317. Het is op de derde verdieping (These go to room 317. It's on the third floor)" the woman said.

"Dank je," Natasha said as she was walked out of the office. She walked up the stairs, which made a creaking sound every time she took a step. The railings were rusty and wobbly, so Natasha didn't dare to use them to get up. Not like she needed them anyway. She continued to climb the stairs to the third floor. When she got to the end there was a long hallway lined with doors to the apartments. She looked at the signs to see which one was hers. Natasha found her apartment at the end of the hallway. She took her key and opened the door. Her eyes weren't ready for the sight before her. The apartment was the dirtiest place she had ever seen. There were cobwebs and dust everywhere. The windows were caked in dirt and the floor covered in an unidentifiable substance. The toilet water was a mud color and the shower had patches of mold growing in it. There was a washing-machine that had more dents than Thor's wall in his room at Avengers Tower. And paint was peeling everywhere among other things.

_No wonder this place is so cheap. I'm gonna have to work harder than Cinderella to clean this shit up. Better get a head start._

Natasha placed her suitcase in a corner of the room next to a box spring with a mattress and opened it to retrieve a satchel. Then she took her wallet, keys, and bus schedule and put them inside. She took note of everything she needed and made a mental list of what to get for the apartment.

_Apartment List_

_broom_

_Windex_

_rag_

_duster_

_2 sets of sheets_

_Scrubbing Bubbles_

_laundry basket_

_burner phone_

_bucket_

_mop_

_tile cleaner_

_bleach_

_detergent_

_pillow_

_bottled water_

_granola bars_

_trash can_

_trash bags_

_vodka_

_solo cups_

_toilet paper_

_towels_

_I think that's all for now._

Natasha walked out her apartment and down the stairs to the front of the building, where she waited for a bus to come. She waited 7 minutes until one finally showed up. A few people got off, but she was the only one that got on. She sat down in the back after paying the fare. The doors closed and the bus drove off. It drove to the heart of the city. Natasha got off and looked around for a store that might have what she needs. She found one that sold cleaning and household supplies which cleared a lot off of her list. She just needed some sheets, a burner phone, bottled water, granola, vodka, solo cups, and towels. She walked around some more and found a store that had some sheets and towels. Natasha bought a white set and a black set for the sheets. She bought a turquoise and pink set of four towels. She looked a little odd walking down the street with everything in her hands, so she ended up buying a small cart to carry everything. Natasha rolled the cart all around the city until she found a grocery store, where she bought everything else on her list even the burner phone. She looked at the bus schedule to figure out where she should be. One of the buses would take her to a stop that was near to another stop that would take her back to the apartment complex. But the bus at the first stop wouldn't be there for two hours. Then when she got there she would have to wait another two hours. She decided to walk back to the apartment complex herself.

_I can walk back. It would take less time. Because I am not about to wait four hours to get home. No not home, the apartment complex. It will never be home. My home is with the Avengers. Not here. I wish they were here. I wish we never fought. They could be here with me, looking at all the buildings, stores, and people. We could be teasing Steve or laughing at something that Tony said. Me and Clint could be talking about how farm life is and past missions we went on. Rhodey and Sam could be bonding over how they both served in the Air Force. Wanda and Vision, well just do their thing that they do. Those two love each other but they can't be together right now. I wish Bruce and Thor would come back wherever Bruce is. I wish they could see the change from the clean modern to the dirty poor. Why can't we just get along? Why did they have to make the Accords? We can't save everyone. We make mistakes. That's just our life. We're sorry, we feel guilty, but we tried our hardest to be there when things go wrong. But no. We'll control them Ross says. They have to sign._

* * *

_*Flashback*_

Natasha was in her room thinking about what happened in Lagos. She knew that Wanda was just trying to contain the explosion. She didn't mean to let it detonate on the building. The girl just lost control. Then Natasha heard a knock on the door. She got up from her bed to answer. She opened the door and was met with the sight of Secretary Ross.

"Can I help you?" she asked him. But in her head she was thinking.  _What's this government asshole doing here?_

"Yes Agent Romanoff or should I call you Natasha. Or maybe even Natalia," Ross said slyly. Natasha's face went white and gave Ross a look that would kill him if they could.

"I guess Natalia is something you don't want to be called. It got your attention. And I will use it to my advantage."

"What do you want Ross?" Natasha growled. "Cause I'm not in the mood to play your little games."

"I have a proposition for you, if you're willing to listen, Natalia."

"Go on."

"After what happened in Lagos, me and other WSC members have decided to make restrictions on the Avengers' power. We have come up with the regulations that have been named the Sokovia Accords. When there is a world catastrophe we will decide on whether we should send the Avengers or not. We decide which Avengers go too. All Avengers must sign the Accords," Ross explained.

"What happens if we don't sign them?"

"You are retired. No more avenging for you."

"That is a terrible idea. You're taking our freedoms away. We go when Earth is in trouble. Not when tell us to. This-"

"Solves problems. Natalia-"

"Stop calling me Natalia. Natalia is dead. Natalia is the name of a killer."

"Isn't that what you are," Ross retorted. Natasha fell silent. "You know, you're the first Avenger to know this. You know why?"

"No."

"Because this is part of my proposition. Romanoff, I told you first because everything you know and love can be changed by this based on whether you stay or not. If you sign, you stay. But if you don't you not only are retired, but your citizenship will be revoked and you'll be sent back to Russia."

"You can't do that. America's my home. You are disrespecting my rights as a citizen here."

"No, citizens were born here. You are an immigrant. Immigrants will never been seen as a citizen here, even if you do get a citizenship. It's just a piece of paper."

"The US didn't approve it. The WSC didn't approve this. Did they Ross? Did they?"

"If they didn't I wouldn't be here talking to you."

"You know as soon as the Russians know I'm there they'll kill me."

"I know, but that's your problem. Not mine."

"Do you want me dead. Is a deadly Russian spy/assassin too much of a possibility of a threat for you to handle?"

"Well, I wouldn't really care if you were dead. But that's what I think."

"Get out," Natasha said calmly while reaching to pick up one of her knives.

"You don't want to do that Natalia. I could have you arrested for a death threat or attempted murder of a government official. Put the knife down."

Natasha withdrew her hand from her dresser and firmly told him, "Like I said before, get out!"

Ross started to walk out, but before he opened the door, he said,"If you tell anyone about this I will have you acquitted for acts of treason against the US. And we both know what happens to traitors."

"Wait what happens to Wanda? Will you do the same thing to her? She's just a kid."

"No, she doesn't have a citizenship here, and like you said, she's just a kid. Kids have different rules than adults. F.R.I.D.A.Y, delete anything that ties me to being here." Then he opened the door and left.

Natasha stared at the door with shock.

_He's wants me dead. He called me Natalia. I am not an American in his eyes. Always the Russian. Always the killer. I lied to him. Natalia is not dead. She's just hiding, waiting to be found. Waiting for me to snap so she can come out. She'll get me one day._

_*End of Flashback*_

* * *

Natasha made it back to her apartment complex in a little under two hours. She rolled the cart up the stairs and inside the studio. She unlocked the door and put the cart in the corner. She studied the apartment for a moment and then whipped out the broom and started sweeping furiously. Dust and dirt were flying everywhere. Natasha made a couple of piles of debris before setting out her trash can. Then she swept all the dust and dirt into the dustpan and dumped it in the trash. Sweeping was done, now she had to mop. Natasha took the bucket and filled it with water in the sink. Once she had filled it up three-quarters of the way, she set it down on the floor and stuck the mop inside. The substance on the floor seemed to dissolve the more she mopped. The floor was a light brown hardwood. While she waited for it to dry, Natasha put a set of sheets on the mattress and the pillows and dusted. Then she got some Windex and a rag to clean the windows and bathroom mirror. When she was done they looked brand-new. Natasha then started on the rest of the bathroom. First she cleaned the toilet and flushed it to get rid of the dirty water. The sink was next. She sprayed Scrubbing Bubbles and wiped it clean. Last but not least was the shower. It was the worst of all. Natasha took the tile cleaner and scrubbed the inside of the shower like her life depended on it. It took a little while but it was eventually cleaned. She also cleaned the shower head with the Scrubbing Bubbles. Natasha was relieved when she was done. She took a nice long shower and changed into her lounge clothes. Then she pulled out her vodka from the grocery bag and poured it into a cup. She raised it as a toast.

_Toast to a new life._

This is far from the beginning.

* * *


	2. Widow Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is blindsided from an attack from her former home.

**Natasha's POV**

* * *

_Natasha opened her eyes and found herself locked in a white room with nothing in it but her. She was chained to the wall, suspended a foot above the ground. Then a door appeared. It was white like the room. It opened slowly to reveal Thor who was wielding Mjolnir._

" _Thor," Natasha said in relief. "Can you get me down from here?"_

_He looked her in the eye and said disgusted,"Why would I help my enemy. Do you take me as a fool."_

" _Thor it's me. Natasha. I'm your friend/teammate. Remember." Natasha was confused. Thor was acting weird. He said that she was the enemy, but they've been fighting together for a little more than four years. What was up?_

" _Your name is Natalia or the Black Widow. She has no friendship of mine. Or anyone's from the matter," Thor said coldly._

" _No, I'm your-"_

" _You will not deceive the Prince of Asgard with your tongue as you do with the Midgardians. Your temptations will be no more. Murders no more as you face the wrath of Asgard. Prepare to meet your doom you weak, pathetic she-devil!"_

_He pointed Mjolnir toward Natasha and sparks began to fly. Then bolts of lightning shot towards her. Her body convulsed over and over again from the large amounts of electricity. Natasha let out screams of pain, not from the physical pain (which still hurt like hell) but the emotional pain of having one of her friends being the one to cause the pain. Thor did it over and over again. Then he took one last look at Natasha, and exited through the Thor that he came in through. As soon as the door closed, it disappeared without a trace, like it wasn't even there. Natasha should have been dead and her body burned beyond recognition. But there was no sign of any injuries from the torture she had endured. Another door appeared, this time it was orange. Tony walked in donned in his Iron Man armor. Natasha immediately knew from the look on his face that we would do the same thing Thor did, just in his own style. They stared at each other in silence, neither one blinked._

" _Liar," Tony said._

_That was the only thing that he said to her. Then he fired a repulsor at her. Natasha's body convulsed again and again. But there was evidence of the torture this time. Burns that should have been there after Thor started to appear. And the repulsors fired over and over again. Then he turned to leave. Tony looked back at her one last time, with pity, and walked out of the room. The door, as the one before it, disappeared. And another one appeared. This door was green and had a small chip in the corner closest to the top hinge. Bruce ran in fully equipped with a first aid kit and a concerned look on his face._

" _Nat!" he exclaimed. "Thor and Tony told me what happened. I'm sorry. I'm going to help you okay."_

_Natasha stared at him in silence but nodded in approval. He opened the case and pulled out some rubbing alcohol, cotton swabs, and bandages. Bruce began to gently clean her wounds. Suddenly, the Hulk appeared._

" _No, no, no noooo! Not now Hulk. I need Bruce right now. Please just change back. He's helping me."_

" _NO PUNY BANNER!"_

_The Hulk began to pummel her body with punches. Screams of pain filled the air. Natasha yelled at him to stop but he just kept going. He tore her from the chains and threw her on the ground. Then he continued with the punches. Natasha heard her bones breaking. More bruises were starting to appear. The bandages had fallen off of her body, and stitches were ripped open. Blood was everywhere. Natasha was too weak to at least try to attempt to defend herself. Finally, he just stopped. Collapsed onto the ground and turned back into Bruce. Then he stood up and walked to the door._

_He opened the it and stopped in the doorway, back still turned to Natasha and said,"I never loved you." Then he disappeared and the door closed._

_Natasha laid there on the floor in silence in her own pool of blood. "Of course he wasn't going to help me," she thought."If he was, we would have taken me out of the chains before he started doing first aid." Then another thought crossed her mind,"Why am I not dead yet? I got beat up by Thor, Tony in his Iron Man suit, and a very angry Hulk. Just give up body. There's nothing to live for."_

_Then she heard a door open. She looked over to where the sound was coming from and saw Steve walk out of a blue door, shield in hand. Fury was etched on his face. And from the looks of it, that fury was about to be unleashed on her._

" _Steve, you don't have to do this. You can make a choice like you did with the Accords. Please."_

" _I don't negotiate with terrorists. It's time to make you pay for what you did."_

" _Steve this isn't you. Snap out of it," Natasha pleaded. Steve was scaring her. He looked as if he would kill her right then and there._

" _This is all me Natasha. All me. America's Golden Boy versus Russia's top assassin slut. You talk about clearing your ledger but it's too red. A permanent stain. You've killed too many people for it to even get close to white. Like Loki said, your ledger is gushing red. You can't wipe it out."_

_Tears were falling down Natasha's face. If it was coming from anyone that wasn't close to her, she wouldn't care. But Steve, one of her best friends, it hurt like hell. "Don't let him get to you Natasha," she thought. "You're just trying to fix the damage Natalia has done."_

_She put on a brave face, lifted her head, and looked him dead in the eye and asked,"Why did you bring your shield." Really she knew why but didn't care anymore._

" _To do this." Then he slammed her into the wall with it. "And this." He brought the shield down on her abdomen, breaking her ribs even more. Natasha struggled to keep her screams in. It would only encourage more. He noticed and rammed his shield into her head. Blood started dripping down her face from the gash it made. "Can't use that pretty face of yours anymore." Natasha, lying in a pool of her blood, looked at him Steve, expecting another attack, but he just left._

_Natasha laid there wishing that her body would just give up. She wanted to die. She didn't want any more pain. But she knew that it wasn't over yet. There was still one person on the team that hadn't come in yet. The person who gave her a second chance. Clinton Francis Barton. Right on cue he walked in through a purple door that had appeared. Armed with his bow and one arrow. The tip of the arrow looked as if you just touched it with your finger it would draw blood. His face was stone cold. The look he gave the enemy. Natasha ignored the look. She was starting to not care. She wanted it to be over with. It was driving her insane. So close to death, but it won't take her._

" _Will you be the one to do it Clint?" she asked dryly but with a little bit of humor in her voice. She sat up, leaning on the wall for support._

_He gave her a questioning look._

" _Will you be the one to kill the Black Widow. Natalia Romanova. You'll just be killing a shell. She died a long time ago. Natasha Romanoff lives here now, Barton. And she doesn't like Natalia either. Her body or her as a person. But it's your choice."_

" _You and Natalia are the same person," he said coldly._

" _No, you killed Natalia the night you spared me."_

" _I should've shot you right then and there."_

" _You're right. I wouldn't be in pain right now. Sure I wouldn't know the team, Fury, Coulson, Maria, Sharon, Laura, and the kids, but I can't miss something I never experienced."_

" _Leave them out of this. Maybe if I listened to Laura, you wouldn't know them. They don't love you anyway."_

" _Yes they do. You do too." She was growing bolder. Clint also brought out a different side in her._

" _No, I don't. Getting treated like you're loved doesn't mean that you are. Just because people seem to trust you doesn't mean they actually do. Think about when S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. Neither Fury or Steve trusted you."_

" _I don't blame them. I don't trust me sometimes either," she laughed. It wasn't one of those Natasha laughs. It was a laugh of the insane._

" _You're one crazy Russian."_

" _I know. You know. We all know. This is what happens when you're so close to the death and just waiting for it to take you. You go a little insane from waiting."_

" _Well you don't have to wait much longer. Just a little bit more time." He drew his bow and pulled back the arrow. "Nighty, night, Nat." Clint released the arrow which embedded itself into Natasha's sternum. She looked down and saw the arrow in her chest. Clint walked towards her and yanked it out causing blood to spray._

" _See what I mean Clint. Death isn't accepting my calls right now."_

" _Who said I that I would be the one to kill you." Then he walked out with his bow and the bloodied arrow, chuckling._

_Natasha, bloodied, bruised, and broken watched the door close behind him. Then she used the wall to stand herself up, ready to for the last person to come through. But she couldn't figure out who the person was. She wouldn't have to wonder much longer. A white door appeared. "Thor came back to kill me. That's nice," she thought. But then a stream of liquid red dripped down the door. Then more and more dripped down the door. Soon it was just pouring out. The door opened and revealed the woman with the red hair and the black catsuit. Natalia._

_"Hello Natasha. Did you really think you could get rid of me? I'm part of you."_

_"No. I don't know you.I am entirely separate from you. I'm Natasha. The Black Widow. I kill others but others can't kill me. What makes you think that you'll be any different."_

_"Because only a Widow can kill another Widow. Goodbye, Natasha." She drew her gun and pulled the trigger, the bullet flew out. Then there was darkness._

Natasha bolted up, knife in hand. Her body was drenched in sweat. It was this nightmare again. She dropped the knife on the bed.  _This is why I don't sleep that much anymore_. She looked over at a clock she bought. It was 4:13 in the morning.  _Two hours again. Thought I was making progress here._ She didn't have to go to work at the cafe until six but Anika was usually there around five to get some of the sweets ready before opening time, which was at seven. Natasha got up and went into the bathroom to get ready. She used the bathroom and took off her pajamas, which was a grey T-shirt and some black underwear, before she got in the shower. She pulled back the curtain and stepped in and turned the knob. Cold water hit her. Always cold water no matter how far you turn the knob.  _I'm Russian. We practically invented tolerance to the cold._ Natasha scrubbed her stomach with the soapy rag. She went over a scar. It was the one Bucky gave her. A reminder of a time she could have died, again. It was fading though. All her scars went away after a few years. She has had that one for almost eight years. If she looked at it in a mirror, she could still see the outline but it wasn't raised anymore. The other one Bucky gave her two years ago was still the same, just a tad bit smoother. Natasha stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. She opened a drawer and got some toothpaste out and placed it on her brush. One she was finished brushing her teeth, she put in her blue contact lenses and her makeup on. This was all just part of her routine for Lotte Smitt. Besides not being a deadly Russian assassin/spy, and being a little bit more feminine, Lotte was pretty much the same as Natasha. Except for the blonde hair blue eyes. That was one of the things she really had to get used to. She completed her routine and went to her clothes rack and took off one of her work outfits. A black blouse and a brown skirt. Then she grabbed her name tag off the nightstand and went downstairs. Natasha walked to the bike rack to get her bicycle. It was blue and had a tan basket. A little rusty but it got her to point A and point B. She bought it as soon as she got the job at the cafe. No use in walking everywhere all the time. Her job was to make all the coffee and tea. It paid enough for her to get more things for the apartment, even though she really shouldn't. No connections. She was a mystery to her co-workers, as she should be. Can't get her caught, arrested, and killed. According to the news and the BOLOs, she is to be killed on sight. Sure a part of her wants to give up and turn herself in to save her all the trouble. But part of her wants to live and hide. Have an adventurous life, hiding from the government like a boss.  _I guess I can hold out for a little bit longer._ Natasha hopped on her bike and rode to work. Traffic was light and she got there around 4:57. She parked her bike in a lot behind the cafe. Anika wasn't there yet, so the door was locked. Like all the employees, she had a key to open up the building. Natasha unlocked the door and started setting up. She took the chairs off the tables and wiped them down. Then she set up the stools by the bar. After she was done setting everything up in the dining area, she moved on to the kitchen. Natasha started on the coffee. She poured the coffee grounds in the pot and stirred it. Then she heard the door open. It was only 5:43 so it wouldn't be Anika.

"We're not open yet, come back around seven," Natasha called out.

"It's just me Lotte, Isabella," she walked into the kitchen. She was one of the cashiers. She had silky brown hair that was always in a messy bun. It matches the way she works.

"Hi Isabella," Natasha said. "Sorry, I thought you were a customer."

"It's okay. Why so early today?"

"Couldn't sleep. What about you?"

"Had to deal with some unfinished business."

"Oh," Natasha said. Something was off. "How did you know it was me in here?"

"I saw your bike in the front."

"Silly me."  _I put my bike in the back._ "Hold on I'll be right back. I don't think I chained my bike up." She turned to leave.

"That's fine. I'll come with you."

"You can stay. I don't need any help." Natasha moved closer to the doorway.

"I have to wipe down the tables outside anyway, Lotte." Isabella walked towards her.

"I'll do it while I'm out there."

"Lotte…"

"I can do it myself Isabella!" shouted Natasha aggravated.  _No keep doing Lotte, Natasha. I think I just slipped up._ "I'll be going Isabella. By myself."

They stared at each other for a minute. Then, Isabella's facial expression went from nice and pleading to cold-hearted killer. "You're coming with me Natalia." She took out a syringe from her skirt.

The two got into defensive stances and went at it. They wrestled on the ground for a moment. Isabella rammed Natasha's head into the table, making a wide gash on her forehead. She wasn't unconscious, just dazed. And tired. She had two hours of sleep. Her fighting wouldn't be the best. Isabella took an advantage of that and took one of the kitchen knives and attempted to stab her. Natasha rolled out of the way in time, and the knife was embedded in the tile. She kneed Isabella in the stomach, getting her off her in the process. Natasha pinned her to the ground and started to choke her.

"Who do you work for?" Natasha asked angrily. She didn't have time for this. She didn't have time to start all over again.

"Your home." Isabella wheezed. She was running out of air. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Isabella bit Natasha's arm, causing her to loosen her grip a little bit. It wasn't much, but it was enough for her to break free of the chokehold. Natasha acted quickly to get the upper hand again. Isabella was faster. Or just really lucky. Natasha lunged at her in an attempt to take her out, but Isabella met her with a counter attack. She reached out to hit Natasha, but accidentally missed.

_Her mistake._

Natasha took her chance to take a swing at Isabella herself. She pinned her to the ground and punched her over and over again. The woman began to lose consciousness. Or so Natasha thought. Natasha raised her fist to punch her again, but it was halted by Isabella's hand. She held onto it and quickly pressed the syringe into Natasha's neck. Natasha collapsed on top of her. Isabella pushed her off and stood up.

"Time to go home, Natalia. Time to go back to the Red Room."

Then there was darkness.

* * *

**Isabella's POV**

* * *

Isabella stared at Natasha's still form. She had taken down the famous Black Widow. Sure she had an advantage of a full night's sleep, but what fight is ever fair. Russia will get its precious killer princess back thanks to her.  _In your face you dumbass Americans. We will win this war._ Isabella looked at the clock. 6:01. Anika was probably waiting out back with the car. She was to be there at 6:10. Then they would meet with two Red Room operatives across town. They would drop her off and Anika would come back to act like Natalia kidnapped Isabella. Isabella would be with the operatives going back to the Red Room. Anika and the rest of the cafe "workers" would come in a couple of weeks after closing down the cafe.  _Fourteen minutes to spare. Let's leave a little present for the authorities._ Isabella took her knife and cut Natasha's arm. Not deep enough to severely harm her, but enough to get a little bit of blood pouring. Then she took one of Natasha's hands and coated her blood in it. Isabella took her hand and pressed it on the wall. It left behind a bloody imprint. Isabella took a Sharpie and wrote: DEATH TO HER~NRom. It would let the world know that Natasha was here. It would also lead the authorities to think that Natasha kidnapped her. A larger bounty on her head. Isabella finished and threw Natasha over her back, hauling her outside where Anika was waiting. She threw her into the trunk and hopped in the passenger seat. Anika pulled off and they drove away in silence. They met the operatives at the rendezvous point. Isabella got in and let the operatives haul Natasha's box into the van.

"Change of plans, Isabella. Headmistress has instructed us to go by the apartment complex," said one of the operatives.

"Why?"

"She has instructed us to blow it up. Make it seem like Natalia did it."

"Okay. Does she want me to set up the bomb?"

"No, she wants you to be inside when the building blows. Make it look convincing that she kidnapped you. Make it look like she killed you. Except it wasn't."

"I'm not sure if I am ready."

"It is not a choice, Isabella."

"I know. When do you know to make the building blow?" asked Isabella.

"When Anika gives us the signal."

"Let's do this."

They drove to Natasha's apartment complex and set up the bombs. They took her keys and opened the door to her studio. Isabella set up the bombs while the operatives stayed in the car. They waited for two hours until they finally got the signal. The police were on their way to the apartment to investigate. The plan was going well.

_For Russia. For the Red Room_

* * *

**Operatives' POV**

* * *

The operatives drove about 100 yards from the building. Then one of the operatives pressed the detonator. The operatives heard the boom and watched the building go up in flames. They heard the screams of the people inside. Then the building collapsed, and they drove off to the airstrip to go back to the Red Room.

* * *

**CNN News Report in USA**

* * *

"Breaking News! Today in a cafe in Amsterdam, the owner found a bloody handprint belonging to the missing ex-Avenger, Natasha Romanoff. The handprint was found when the owner walked into the kitchen. Under it, written in Sharpie, a message was inscribed: DEATH TO HER~NRom. The owner believed it to be one of the employees named Isabella Locke who had bad blood with Romanoff, who was under the alias Lotte Smitt. Then two hours after Isabella was reported missing, the apartment complex the cafe owner believed for her to have lived, was blown up. 57 people were believed to be inside, including Locke. Romanoff is believed to have been behind this. General Ross's statement will be released in a couple of minutes More news will be available soon. This is Anderson Cooper on CNN news."

"Nat's in some real deep shit now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm happy to finally be on Archive of Our Own. I got a little frustrated when I posted the first chapter because I thought that it actually didn't post after putting all those tags on it. Thank God I checked today. Whew! Anyways, thanks for reading.


	3. The Genius Knows Her Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Rhodey hear about the incident in Amsterdam. Ross and Anika give statements to CNN.

**Tony's POV**

* * *

Tony was tired. He had been up all night in his lab working on updating his suits. Right now he was tinkering with the repulsors. The stun blast needed to be a little stronger, but not using up a lot of power at the same time. He was so engrossed in his work he didn't see Rhodey come in. And the music was blaring at full volume, so he didn't hear him either.

"Tony!" yelled Rhodey. He kept working on the repulsors. Rhodey grabbed his shoulder.

"Tony!" he said.

"Go away Rhodes. I'm in the middle of something," Tony said.

"You need to see this."

He held his phone up to Tony to show him a video.

* * *

**CNN**

* * *

"This is Anderson Cooper with CNN bringing you breaking news from the Netherlands. Last night in Amsterdam, an apartment complex was bombed killing at least 57 people inside. This comes in the wake of a cafe employee, Isabella Locke, being kidnapped by ex-Avenger Natasha Romanoff who is the believed to have locked Locke in one of the apartments and detonated the bomb from there. Ms. Romanoff was confirmed to be living in the apartment and working at the same cafe as Locke by their employer Anika Stovostein under the name Lotte Smitt. Authorities identified her with a sample from a bloody handprint on the wall of the cafe. Let's hear a statement from Ms. Stovostein. Hello Ms. Stovostein. I know that this is a shock to you and the city of Amsterdam. Please, tell us about Ms. Romanoff." said Anderson.

"Thank you Anderson. Lotte, erh I mean Ms. Romanoff came into my cafe three months ago after seeing my sign on the window about a job. She told me that she was fired from an old job because she was in a workers union that protested a new contract for her job. She said that the contract limited their labor rights and if they didn't sign it, they'd be fired. She said that she signed it but because she was in the union they fired her. I see now that she was referring to the Accords. She was a hard worker. She didn't really talk to the other employees that much, maybe in fear of getting too close to them," Isabella said.

"Did you see any hostility towards you are any of your employees from her?" Anderson asked.

"No. When she did address us, she seemed to, um, I don't know how to explain it, but it wasn't unfriendly. She treated us with respect. I just thought that she wasn't a social butterfly."

"Did she ever give off any hints, any clues, about who she was? Any changes in her demeanor? Something off about her? I know that she's a world renowned spy and all, but was there a point that she may have slipped up."

"No. She's apparently really good at her job. Keeping her cover and…" she hesitated, her voice cracking. A tear slipped down her face. "And killing. Spreading destruction. What she did to Isabella. What she did to those people in that apartment building. It's just horrible what she did. What she does. Killing innocent people and not even batting an eye."

"This must be hard for you to imagine, especially since you were personally affected. After all this, are you still going to be operating your cafe? I know you are two employees short now because of this. And the popularity of places after a crime happens seems to drop."

"Yes, but not because of the employee or business drop. I'm afraid that it will bring back memories. Haunt me like a ghost. I just can't be around it anymore."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Well, thank you for your time Ms. Stovostein," said Anderson.

"Your welcome, sir. Have a good day."

"Well that was Anika Stovostein. After the break, we will have a statement from the US Secretary of State Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross. This is Anderson Cooper with CNN. See you after the break."

* * *

**Tony's POV**

* * *

The lab was silent as Tony and Rhodey looked at the screen. Rhodey looked at Tony expecting him to say something about it.

"Nat's in some real deep shit now," said Tony. He kept looking at the screen. "Is this live?"

"Yeah. I'm surprised we haven't heard anything from Ross yet," Rhodey said.

"Sir, you have an incoming video call from Secretary Ross," said FRIDAY.

"Answer it FRIDAY," said Tony.

"Not gonna put him on hold."

Tony laughed "Nah. Not today."

Ross' appeared on a hologram screen. He looked a little flushed.

"You look a little annoyed, Secretary Ross. Having Avengers problems?" asked Tony.

"Mr. Stark. Colonel Rhodes. I take it you know about the situation with Ms. Romanoff," said Secretary Ross.

"Um, yeah. It's kinda the number one news at the moment. We also know that you're giving a statement to the press. Nice suit by the way. Can you please explain to me on why didn't you call us earlier?" Tony asked.

"I was occupied at the moment," Ross said annoyed.

"Yeah, government stuff," said Tony.

"What are we going to do about Romanoff," Rhodey seriously asked. Unlike Tony, he was more capable of being serious without inserting jokes between the banter. Most the time.

"The UN is placing a kill order on her. She's to be dead on sight. We're not having another repeat of Barnes," Ross said.

"Do you have any idea where she is?" asked Rhodey.

"No."

"Then you're probably not going to find her," Tony said smugly. "You'll only find Natasha is she wants to be found. And at the moment, she doesn't."

"There's only so long she can hide before someone spots her. They'll either call the police or kill her," said Ross.

"Try to kill her. They might end up dead. Trust me you're never going to catch her."

"Why do you think I'm calling you, Tony?" asked Ross.

"To inform him of the situation." said Rhodey.

"No, for Tony to use his tech to find her. Possibly take her down too."

"Me? Why do I have to do it?"

"Because the UN told you to. And because you signed the Sokovia Accords, you have to do it. And I figured you didn't want anyone else using your tech."

Tony looked at Rhodey for support.

"He's right, Tony," Rhodey said.

"Fine."

"Thank you Tony. Have a nice day." The hologram disappeared.

"FRIDAY, play Ross' statement on CNN," Tony said.

"Yes, sir."

A hologram displayed itself from the box on the table.

* * *

**CNN**

* * *

"Welcome to CNN. This is Anderson Cooper following up with Secretary of State Thaddeus E. "Thunderbolt" Ross to talk about Natasha Romanoff following the bombing at an apartment complex in Amsterdam killing 57 people. Welcome Secretary Ross, how are you?" Anderson asked him.

"Honestly I'm a little frustrated today, courtesy of Ms. Romanoff."

"I believe a lot of people are at the moment. Tell me, what was your reaction to the news because no one saw it coming."

"It was quite unexpected. This woman was in hiding for three months, and then I suddenly get the news that she's in Amsterdam and is behind not only a bombing, but a kidnapping as well. "

"Now you've met Ms. Romanoff. Is there anything about her personality that you can see leading her to this attack."

"She tries to test the rules. Finding loopholes. Interpreting them in her own way. Getting her to follow orders is a struggle. She's stubborn and headstrong. Ms. Romanoff also intimidates her teammates, threatening them with knives, guns, anything around her. She has trust issues. She doesn't trust her team, and they don't trust her back. Even the man that brought her in, Clint Barton, doesn't trust her. It's such a shame. She has secrets on top of secrets. A web of lies. And let's not even get started on that shady past of hers."

"That is the true Natasha Romanoff, wow. As we know because of the data dump Ms. Romanoff herself orchestrated a few years ago, she used to work for the KGB. Her missions with them including killing not only targets but innocent people. She set a whole children's ward on fire in a hospital to kill a target while making it look like an accident. She not only killed the target but 47 children, 53 visitors, and 19 nurses and doctors. She killed children. Then one of her targets named Dreykov, a rich Russian property owner working in the black market on the side, he was playing with his six year-old daughter, Lada, outside in their garden. Romanoff pounced on Dreykov, shot him in the head. His daughter watched in horror. She didn't leave witnesses. Romanoff snapped the girl's neck as she pleaded for her not to kill her. São Paulo. Natasha set off a dirty bomb in a office building were a man who had stolen information from the Red Room worked. Killed 219 people and injured 102 more. You see, this woman is very capable of killing a large amount of people and innocents with batting an eye. It isn't hard to think about how she could do this."

"Wow, from those three attacks 340 deaths and 442 casualties in all from them. There are other missions that increase her kill count. One last question before I let you go. What actions will be taken to find Ms. Romanoff?"

"From what I can tell you, she is currently wanted by 117 countries in the UN who will be sending operatives to take her down and to track her location."

"Thank you for your time Secretary Ross."

"My pleasure. Have a good day Mr. Cooper."

"You too. This is CNN and I'm Anderson Cooper. I'll see you after the break with more news on Natasha Roma-"

* * *

**Tony's POV**

* * *

Tony turned the hologram off. He turned and looked at Rhodey.

"Well that couldn't have gone worse," Rhodey said.

"Ya think."

"What else was I supposed to say. He just destroyed her reputation. Threw her under the bus."

"He twisted everything," Tony said.

"Ross hates her."

"You don't think I don't know that. I mean he just raked her name through the mud. Sure the missions were true, but does he know how many times I find her making a late night cup of coffee in the kitchen because if she goes to sleep, nightmares plague her mind. Or if they're really bad how many bottles of vodka I've seen her go through in one sitting because sometimes she just wants to drink so much that she can forget for a few hours."

* * *

**Flashback**

* * *

_The tower was quiet. It was about two-thirty in the morning. Only Tony, Bruce, and Natasha were in the tower tonight. Tony was working on a project with Bruce in the lab. He decided to go on a snack run for them. He walked in the kitchen to get a granola bar from the pantry where he found Natasha sitting on a bar stool surrounded by vodka bottles. There were about 3 empty bottles of vodka and one was in the process of being chugged by Natasha. He was walking towards her to make sure she was okay when she threw an empty vodka bottle at him. It ended up landing by his feet hitting the floor instead, shattering. Glass was all over the ground in front of him._

" _You're cleaning that up," Tony said._

 _He walked around the glass and pulled out a stool by Natasha. She looked up at him, giving him a killer look. Except Tony noticed that her eyes looked sad and fearful. They were like as if she was crying, along with tear streaks down her face. He had never seen her like this before. Or seen her drink so much. It was four bottles of vodka. He noticed the broken seals on the bottles, showing that they were new bottles._ I know Russians know how to handle their alcohol, but this was too much.

" _Hey, you okay," he asked concerned._

_She nodded. "I'm fine." Her voice was raspy._

_He laughed. "Bullshit Nat and you know that. Tell me the truth."_

_Natasha looked away to examine one of the empty vodka bottles. She reached for another bottle, but Tony grabbed her arm. She gave him a look, which he challenged with one of disapproval. Then worry clouded his eyes. This wasn't normal for her._

" _Nightmares," she said quietly. "I can't go back to sleep. They're to real."_

_She looked down at the ground in shame. To her, being so vulnerable, it was a weakness. Tony lifted her head with his hand._

" _Wanna talk about it?" he asked._

" _My past."_

" _You're trying to forget," Tony said. "I do this too sometimes."_

_Natasha smiled._

" _Drinking makes it worse," he said._

_She chuckled. "I know. But it makes me feel like I'm doing something."_

_Tony embraced her in a hug. She didn't return it, but sunk in his body a little more. "Hey, the team and I are here to help you. I don't want one of us to find you dead on the floor one morning because of alcohol poisoning."_

" _My body can take it."_

" _Keep telling yourself that," he said sarcastically. "Don't let your guilt fester in your mind. It'll slowly drive you insane. Believe me, I've seen it happen to the best of us."_

" _Okay."_

_He grabbed her hand and led her off the stool._

" _Come with me down to the lab. You can hang out with me and Bruce, so you won't be alone. Find you something to do. JARVIS can help you improve your hacking skills."_

" _What's wrong with my current hacking skills."_

" _Nothing. They're adequate, but everything can improve. And I need to make sure you're doing something productive," Tony said._

" _I guess I have nothing better to do. We're out of vodka in this kitchen," Natasha said._

" _And you don't need anymore. I'm surprised that you're not drunk. Grab some granola bars though. Bruce is hungry."_

_Natasha grabbed the box of granola bars from the pantry, so Bruce could choose which flavor he wanted since she didn't know. Tony took some bottles of water to take down with them._

" _You good," Tony asked._

" _Yeah, I'm good." She smiled._

" _Sir, Dr. Banner, and a quote,"Where is my frickin granola bar?" said JARVIS._

" _Tell him we're on our way down," Tony said._

" _Are we just gonna leave glass on the floor?" Natasha asked him as they passed it on the way out of the kitchen. They boarded the elevator to go to the lab._

" _I'll make Dummy clean it."_

**End of Flashback**

* * *

"And with the rules thing. I would be questioning too authority after all she's been through. I may not know her as well as you do Tony, but from what I've heard about her past I can see why she doesn't want to talk about it," Rhodey said.

"He was kind of right on the trusting thing. Natasha was hard to trust after she spied on me. And hard to trust her now after the Steve and Bucky fiasco."

"She saved your life though."

"Yeah, I guess."

Rhodey laughed. "Guess that's not a big deal."

"The web of lies and secrets argument isn't going to hold up though. I mean she's a spy. You can't exactly tell everyone everything."

"The press and the people are dumb enough to believe it so it'll hold up."

"Do you think she deserves this?"

"Part of me does, part of me doesn't."

"Tony!" Rhodey scolded. He was in disbelief

"Sorry it's true. I mean if she stopped Steve and Bucky from getting on the quinjet instead of shooting T'Challa, you wouldn't of had to fly after it and get shot out the sky."

"Oh my God you're unbelievable. That was not completely her fault. You vouch for her one second then say she deserves this a second later."

"Forget it how about we just get started on trying to find her."

"We're actually gonna do this?"

"Yeah. I mean do you want the UN even further up our asses?"

"No."

"Okay then, let's get started."

"Fine."

"And drinks."

"No. We're working sober."

"Okay." Tony pulled out a bottle of scotch from a drawer anyway.

"I just said no."

He ignored him.  _I need it more than you think, Rhodes._ "Name a random place to start with."

"Natasha's originally from Russia. Maybe she went there," Rhodey said. "I mean it makes the most sense."

"She hates Russia."

"It's a start Tony. Besides, we can get the biggest country out the way."

"Russia it is." Tony raised his bottle of scotch.  _Why do we have to start with the biggest country in the world?_


	4. The Girl That Cried Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky comes out of cryo, only for the excitement of his celebration to be extinguished by news about Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is in the same time frame as chapter three.

**Steve's POV**

* * *

_It's been three months since I broke into the Raft and rescued the team. Three months I've been in Wakanda. Three months Bucky placed back in cryofreeze to disable the trigger words. Three months since me and Tony's showdown at that base in Siberia. Three months since the fight at the airport between the Avengers. Where Natasha let me and Bucky go. Where she is right now. Nobody's heard from her. She's been on the run before and can handle herself, but I want her here. All of my best friends here by my side. Everyone who was with me that were against the Accords are all here except for Scott. Lucky he had some friends to help him out. Picked up Barton's family after we left the Raft. Still at the house. Can't believe Nat didn't move them. Be glad nobody knew they existed._

"Mr. Rogers," one of the Wakandan servants said,"the doctors wanted me to tell you that they have disabled Mr. Barnes' trigger words. He will be coming out of the cryofreeze shortly. Your presence is optional, but King T'Challa says that he knows that you'll be there. Your teammates are welcome to join you."

"Okay, I'll ask them if they want to come. What time will he come out?" Steve asked, masking his excitement.

"Thirty minutes."

"Thank you!"

"Your welcome, sir."

_My best friend is back! Bucky won't have to worry about trigger words or HYDRA anymore! No more danger for him or for us. So thirty minutes. Thirty minutes to find everyone and ask if they want to come. Well, like about fifteen minutes to find them and ten minutes to get there. Now where would everyone be in the afternoon. The common area. Or their rooms. I'll try the common room first._

Steve ran to the common room and found everyone on the sofa in there watching Star Wars. Sam and Clint were really into while Wanda was surrounded by blankets and tissues on the end of the couch, sleeping.

_Oh, forgot Wanda was sick. She probably won't come. Won't hurt to ask._

Steve cleared his throat to get the team's attention. Sam paused the movie, and they turned to face him.

"Is this important Steve? You woke Wanda up, and me and Sam could still be watching the movie," Clint said.

"It is," Steve said. "Bucky's trigger words are gone and he's getting out of cryo in a few minutes. I was wondering if you wanted to be there with me when he comes out."

"Sure! This calls for a celebration!" Sam said, jumping up from the sofa enthusiastically.

"I would go, Steve, but I don't want to spread my cold," Wanda said.

"What about you Clint?" asked Steve.

"I'll stay and take care of Wanda. And I promised Lila I would help her with a puzzle. Tell him that Hawkeye will see him afterwards though okay," Clint said.

"That's fine," Steve said. "You ready to go Sam?"

"Yeah, let's go. See you two later," Sam told them.

Steve and Sam walked out of the common room and towards the lab.

"I swear Clint thinks Wanda is his kid. I mean they're so close," Sam said jokingly.

Steve laughed. "That's so true! But it's good for her. After Pietro, she needed someone to lean on."

"I feel like if he likes you enough, you'll become his family. First it was Laura, then Natasha, and now Wanda," Sam said. He noticed Steve tense up when he said Natasha's name. "Hey, she can take care of herself remember. She's good at running from the government."

"But she wouldn't have had to run from the government if she didn't let us go," Steve said guiltily.

"Hey man, it worked out in the long run. Natasha will probably find her way back to us eventually. I mean it's Nat we're talkin' 'bout. Let's just think about Bucky, okay."

"Fine."

T'Challa was waiting for them at the doorway of the lab.

"Come in," he said smiling. The men walked inside where they saw the cryo pod.

"You can stand over here," a scientist said.

They followed the scientist over to the cryo pod. Sam, Steve, T'Challa, and some scientists and a doctor huddled around it. Then the scientist grabbed a high-tech tablet.

"The cryogenic capsule will open in five seconds," the scientist explained. "Everyone be ready. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Open!"

The cryo pod's door lowered and steam poured into the room. Once it cleared, everyone could see Bucky, who was beginning to open his eyes.

"Bucky," Steve said, "can you hear me? It's me, Steve. Sam, King T'Challa, and some scientists are here too."

"I can hear you," Bucky said weakly.

"Mr. Rogers can you help me get Mr. Barnes out the cryo pod?" asked one of the scientists. Steve nodded and walked toward the pod and pulled Bucky out and draped his new metal arm over his shoulder. Sam came over and got the other arm.

"Place him on the cot please, sir," the scientist said. Steve and Sam gently placed him on the cot.

Bucky laughed."You're acting like I can't walk over myself,"

Sam rolled his eyes in annoyance."Cause you can't walk over yourself,"

"Whatever, Sam. I guess they got rid of the trigger words. And gave me a new arm," Bucky said to the scientists. He moved bent and straightened his fingers. A doctor was checking his vitals to make sure everything was okay.

"Yes, the trigger words have been disabled. Your new arm has a new upgrade too," T'Challa said. "It is now made out of vibranium and devoid of the Soviet star."

"Thank you your highness. I owe you."

"No you don't," T'Challa said. "Free of charge."

"Thank you, for everything."

"I must go now. I have royal duties to attend to," T'Challa said. Then he walked out of the room and through the door where some of the Dora Milaje, including Okoye were waiting. Steve could hear him walking down the hallway his footsteps getting fainter and fainter until he couldn't hear them anymore. Then he turned to Bucky whose vitals were still being checked.

"Ready to be part of the world again?" asked Steve jokingly.

"Sure, what did I miss?"

"Not much besides people trying to figure out where we are," Sam said. "That's it. And Scott went back to America and is lying low with some friends of his. Not a good idea."

"Cool," Bucky said.

"Mr. Barnes your vitals are fine. You are free to go with your friends back to your quarters."

"Aren't you going to check to see if the words are actually disabled?" Steve asked cautiously.

"We already did. Mr. Barnes has a com in his ear. A scientist in another room said the words. They have no effect on him," a doctor said.

"You just put everyone in this room in danger!" Steve yelled in anger. Sam and Bucky looked at the doctor with horror and anger plastered on their faces.

"We had safety measures in place," the doctor said calmly. "The com was fitted with an electric shock that would knock him out if he was out of control. Here see, here is the com." The doctor took it out of Bucky's ear and showed it to the room. Everyone calmed down a little bit. Steve was still a little uneasy but tried not to show it. The room was in a awkward silence.

"Um, so are we done here or not," Sam asked.

"Yes you may leave, we're done. Mr. Barnes should be able to walk now. But assistance might be necessary," the doctor said.

"Okay, thank you, bye," Sam said. He grabbed Bucky and Steve and dragged them out of the lab and started walking away. Bucky gave him a look of gratitude and nodded.

"Thanks," Bucky said.

"No problem," Sam said.

"So what now?" Bucky asked.

"We'll go to the common room and see if anyone's in there. So you can meet them. Then we can show you your room."

"Who's here?"

"Me, you, Sam, Wanda, Clint, and Clint's family."

"Clint has a family?"

"Yeah."

"He left them didn't he. He left them to help us."

"It's not your fault. And nobody outside of the Avengers knows except Fury. We picked them up after we hit the Raft."

"Oh. Do you think his family will like me?"

"Laura will like you. And his kids will like you. Cooper's probably gonna ask you a million questions about your arm, Lila might want to do your hair, and Nate is too young to understand you."

Bucky laughed.

"And caution, Wanda's sick, so beware," said Steve.

"I'll be fine. I have a nice little serum just like you Steve, except it's a little different. But I do know that I don't get sick. Easily."

"Cool," Sam said.

* * *

**Bucky's POV**

* * *

The group walked into the common room and found it more crowded than it was earlier. The Barton family had joined Clint and Wanda. Clint was doing a puzzle with Lila, Laura was talking to Wanda, and Cooper was playing with Nathaniel. Laura noticed the men were there and got up to greet them. She led them towards the sofa.

"So this is the man my husband left me for," she said.

The color in Bucky's face drained. "I'm so sor-"

"I was just teasing. It's nice to meet you Sergeant Barnes. I'm Laura, Clint's wife."

"Nice to meet you, mam. You can call me Bucky."

"Okay."

"Nice to see you man," said Clint.

"Clint right?"

"Yep. That's me."

"You're the farmer guy that shoots arrows."

Everyone except Clint laughed.

"Haha. Really funny people. Last person that laughed at me took an arrow to the knee. Bucky, just so you know, I am a world-renowned assassin. Do not get on my bad side."

"Former, assassin," said Laura. "Now he's just a farmer that shoots arrows, like Bucky said. And supposed to be a full-time dad."

"He's a great daddy."

Bucky turned to see Lila staring at him.

"We never said that he wasn't sweetie. The adults are talking, can you go back to doing your puzzle?" asked Laura.

"Okay."

"You must be Lila," Bucky said.

Her eyes grew wide in amazement. "How do you know my name?"

"Steve told me before while we were walking here. Your brothers are named Cooper and Nate."

"Yep. Cooper he knows your name too!"

Cooper rolled his eyes. Laura gave him one of her signature mom looks that everyone has gotten at one point.

"Cool, Lila," he said, a bit of sarcasm in his voice. "I saw you at the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian. They had a panel on you," Cooper said.

"I saw it when I was there a few years ago. They need to update it though."

"Yeah, cause you're not dead."

"Do you want to meet Nate?" asked Lila.

"Lila, stop interrupting," Cooper said.

"I wouldn't mind meeting him."

"If you two agree to go back to what you were doing before you interrupted our conversation," said Laura.

"Okay!" they said in unison.

Lila picked Nate up and gave him to Bucky, who cautiously took him from her arms. He placed the baby on his lap. Nate looked up at him with his curious brown eyes and smiled. He snuggled into Bucky's chest and closed his eyes.

"He likes you," Laura said.

"I can tell."

"It took that little munchkin a while to warm up to me," said Steve. "And I'm a baby magnet."

"You should have seen Steve's face when he first held him. Nate started bawling and trying to get away from him. He was mortified," said Sam.

"I'm just not used to that. It's new to me."

"Is this all of your family, Clint?" Bucky asked.

The room went silent. Clint looked away.

"Kids, can you guys go play somewhere else," Laura asked.

"But why?" said Lila.

"Just go play somewhere else for now okay. Take Nate with you."

Lila gathered her puzzle pieces and put them in the box. Cooper took Nate from Bucky and the three left the room.

"We're still missing a person," said Laura.

"What?"

"Her name is Natasha. We don't know where she is," said Laura. "She disappeared after Leipzig."

"Is Natasha one of your kids?"

"No, she's my sister in law."

"Clint's sister."

"Yeah."

"You've met her before, Buck. The redhead. She let us go at the airport. And she was with me in DC."

"Can you show me a picture of her? I remember the red hair, but not the face."

Clint took his wallet out and opened it to get a picture. He pulled out the picture and handed it to Steve to give to Bucky. Then Lila burst in the room in a tizzy.

"Auntie Nat's on TV! Auntie Nat's on TV!"

"What!" Clint exclaimed. He turned on the TV. "What channel?"

"It's on the news. When Cooper turned on the TV the news was on and she was on it."

Clint turned to BBC.

* * *

**BBC News Report**

* * *

"This is Nick Bryant with BBC bringing you this breaking news report. Just coming in from Amsterdam, there has been a bombing at an apartment complex outside the city. About 57 people were believed to be inside. The bombing is believed to be coordinated by ex-Avenger Natasha Romanoff. Romanoff lived in the complex while going under the alias of Lotte Smitt. This was discovered by her employer when she came into work this morning. A bloody handprint was find on a wall in the kitchen which was later identified as Romanoff's. The scene showed an apparent struggle, leading the authorities to believe that there was a second woman with Romanoff. The second woman, identified by DNA left behind, is Isabella Locke. She is believed to have been knocked unconscious and dragged out of the kitchen. Her location is not known at the time, but authorities believe that she was moved to the apartment complex that is now in flames. Romanoff has been incognito for the past three months after breaking the rules of the Sokovia Accords. She is now wanted for espionage, terrorism, and Article 289 and 289a in Holland, which is equal to 1st degree murder in the states. All 117 nations that signed the Accords are meeting to discuss the punishment of Romanoff later today. The outcome will likely be the death penalty and a kill on sight issued. Romanoff was last seen with blonde hair and blue eyes. She's about five foot, three inches and ways about 138 pounds or 1.6 meters and 62.6 kilograms. She has many scars including one on her stomach and one on her shoulder. If you spot Romanoff, do not engage. Call the authorities to handle it. She is dangerous without weapons. More will be on the story later as we go to commercial break."

_I know her._

* * *

**Clint's POV**

* * *

"Oh my god," Steve said shocked.

"Auntie Nat did that?" Lila said.

The team looked at the little girl in horror. Even though the reporter just explained it to them, to hear it come from Lila's mouth, it just poured salt into the wound.

"She's a monster."

"DELILAH ELIZABETH BARTON! Wanda will you take her to me and Clint's room. I will deal with you young lady later."

Wanda took Lila by the hand and led her out of the room.

Clint stared at the TV in silence.  _Not my Natasha. Not my best friend, my sister. My kids' aunt. My wife's best friend. My partner. She wouldn't have gone back to that life. She's done with that life. It's not true. It's not her._

"Are they sure it's her?" asked Laura. "It could be a copycat. They don't have any proof that it's her."

"Um… a copy-cat that happens to have her handprint. Her blood. It's her. No matter what we don't want to believe, it's her," said Sam.

"Why Amsterdam? I mean, it's not that far from Germany," Steve asked.

"Those apartments. Me and Natasha went to Amsterdam for a mission. It was one of our first missions together. I remember seeing those apartments. She told me that they would be a good place to hide if we ever needed to lay low for awhile. Guess she ended up doing that," explained Clint.

"Maybe the coworker found out that she was the Black Widow. She confronts Natasha, they fight, bloody handprint is left, Natasha kidnaps her. Then she blows up the complex she was living in to destroy the evidence of her being there," Sam said.

"But why," Clint asked. "She promised me she would never go back to that life. But the news says that she just killed dozens of people. That she kidnapped one of her co-workers and killed her. My daughter. My daughter that looks up to her. That says that she wants to be just like her no matter how many times Natasha says that she needs to choose someone else to look up to. My Lila. She just looked at the news. The news that told her that her favorite person in the world, just killed a bunch of innocent people. She looked at that TV and saw what is in her mind, a monster. She sees her aunt as a monster. Lila called her aunt, her Auntie Nat, a monster. Only Nat and her enemies call her that. Never Lila."

Clint was in tears. Laura hugged him in effort to comfort him. The rest of the team awkwardly looked at each other in silence.

Steve stood up. Defiant, he said, "We need to find her. We need to find her now."


	5. Home Not So Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Red Room tortures Natasha before reprogramming her back into Natalia.
> 
> *Warning! Non-graphic rape, but maybe graphic torture.*

* * *

**Natasha's POV**

* * *

Natasha woke up in a cold room. She was blindfolded and couldn't see where she was. She felt that she was bound to a metal table by her ankles, thighs, wrists, arms, and neck, dressed only in her underwear.  _Where am I? Why am I here. What mission was this? What happened? How long have I been here? Wait, Isabella and the cafe. Got too sloppy. Where did she bring me? No! The Red Room. Got to get out. Should have practiced more. No one will look for me. They won't waste time on someone they didn't originally know the location of. I'm going to die here. Or worse, they'll get into my brain again._ Natasha heard a door open. She pretended to still be unconscious. Whoever it was, wasn't haven't it.

"Take off the blindfold for me, Nadia. Natalia, I know you're awake. No need in faking it," said the woman.

Nadia yanked the blindfold off her head. She looked around the room.  _Bigger than I thought. Kinda like a lab, but a torture chamber._  Natasha turnt her head to get a good luck at her. Short blonde hair, brown eyes, around 5'4. Then she looked ahead to see the other woman. Headmistress.  _She should have died in the fire._

"Nadia, you are excused." It was just her and Natasha now.

"Hello, Headmistress," Natasha said.

"Natalia, it's been so long. I haven't seen you since you burned down the original Red Room," she said.

"My family burned. It was your turn," Natasha replied coldly.

"I skipped a turn," Headmistress said. She cupped Natasha's chin in her hand. "Like you should have passed on going back with that S.H.I.E.L.D. agent."

"Nah, that was the best decision of my life." Natasha smirked.

"Selling Russian secrets was the best decision of your life. Hmph. From what I recall, the best decision of your life was when you killed all the failures. When you decided that you didn't need any friends. Or a family. Life was better back then."

"No it was better for you because you could control me. I was your puppet."

"Complete control is needed for the young ones, Natalia."

"What do you want?"

"Why change the subject so abruptly. Is it because you know that it's true. You yearn for power, but you are too scared to show it."

Natasha was silent. Headmistress was right. And that scared her.

"But since you asked what I wanted, I wanted you."

"For information on the Avengers or for you to kill me. 'Cause the first one isn't going to happen."

"No, for something else. We couldn't just kill our best widow could we?" Headmistress told her.

It quickly dawned on Natasha what Headmistress wanted her for. "You're never getting into my brain again. Ever." she said defiant.  _Never again. I can't become a puppet. I have two options, escape or suicide, but not a puppet. And I don't see any way of escape from here._

There was a knock on the door. "We're ready," said Headmistress.

The door opened and two men walked in armed with pistols and army knives.

"Oh, great. Conditioning. Too bad it won't work."

"Still think we're trying to get back into your head Natalia. Silly girl. We never left." Then Headmistress stepped aside. "Have fun boys. I will be in observation to see your work. Call me when it's time."

She exited through the door, leaving Natasha alone with the two men. The room was silent. The men looked at each other and nodded. Then one of them approached Natasha.

"Can I help you and your friend over there?" she asked.

"We can very much help ourselves, Natalia. Dmitri, you have the honor of the first turn with Romanova," said the man. He stepped aside. Dmitri walked up to Natasha.

"We are going to have a lot of fun with you this session," said Dmitri. He pulled out a knife and stroked it with his finger. "You know Natalia, I've never used this knife on someone before. It's very pure, unlike you. Time for you to pour some blood on it."

He held the knife to the upper part of her arm, and dug it into her skin, pulled it downwards, making a gash going all the way to her wrist. Natasha didn't show any signs of pain or fear. Dmitri did the same to the other arm. Then he took her right wrist and snapped it. Natasha winced a little bit. Dmitri almost didn't notice. Almost. He grinned in satisfaction, knowing that he was able to cause a little pain. He stopped to let the other man take part.

"Your turn Vanko," Dmitri said.

"Yay," he said dryly. Vanko took his gun off his back and stood to the side of Natasha. He aimed it at Natasha's leg and pulled the trigger. BANG! The bullet embedded itself into the bone, breezing past the muscle and body tissue. Then he shot her in the ankle, the bullet went through and through. Blood was dripping from the table onto the floor, forming a red puddle. Natasha stared at ceiling to distract herself from the pain. She turned to Vanko and looked him dead in the eye and said.

"It's going to take a lot more than that to break me. I feel like this is ameatuer hour," she laughed.  _Don't focus on the pain Natasha. Just breathe. In and out. That's it._

Insulted, Vanko slapped her. "Oh Natalia, we're just getting started. You see Dmitri is specialized in a certain course of training to get our girls ready for their training. Care to show her my friend?"

"I wouldn't mind at all, Vanko," Dmitri said with a devious smirk. He placed his weapons on the ground and started taking off his clothes. First it was his shirt, then his pants, and finally his underwear. Vanko took a knife and cut her underwear and pulled it off. He threw it on the ground and stepped back to let Dmitri pass.

Natasha knew what he was about to do. She knew when she heard a "certain course of training. She looked away from Dmitri, hoping to escape into her mind. Dmitri got on top of her, and used his hand to turn her face towards him.

"You are going to look at me the whole time while I fuck you Natalia. Everytime you look away, Vanko makes a cut. Be a good girl, and it will hurt a little less," said Dmitri. He inserted himself into her and started thrusting. The movements agitated her wounds. Natasha winced in pain. After a couple of minutes, Dmitri finally came. He collapsed on top of Natasha, exhausted. He laid there recovering from his pleasure. Then he passionately kissed Natasha. She kept staring at him, waiting for it to be over. Dmitri stopped kissing her and sat up. He looked at Natasha in disgust.  _Definitely not the first time I've gotten that look before._  He got up from the table and put his clothes back on.

"Ready for round three, Romanova?" asked Vanko. "Because I am."

Natasha looked at him in silence.

"I will take that as a yes. Dmitri get the bucket and the rags. We're gonna have a lot of fun now."

_Waterboarding. Fun. Um yeah uh Ross, you can come and arrest me now. I'm ready._

Vanko took the rags from Dmitri and draped them over Natasha's head, covering her mouth and nose. Then he filled the bucket with water. He walked back over to Natasha and began to pour the water on top of the water. She stayed still for a few seconds.  _Panicking and moving well make me run out of air faster._ But her body refused to stay still. Natasha began to jolt and shake, trying to break free. But, Vanko kept pouring. Black dots were clouding her vision, and her lungs wheezing to bring in air. Finally, Vanko stopped. He set the bucket down and pulled the rags from her face. Natasha took in deep breaths, trying to control her breathing. Her eyes were bloodshot, skin was pale. Waterboarding on top of being raped and covered in bullet and stab wounds, was making her very weak. Physically and mentally. When it was just a random target doing this, it wouldn't affect her as much. But it was the Red Room. So many memories being unsurfaced. It hurt more than anything else. Natasha heard the door open again. Headmistress was back. She had a steel box in hand, about the size of a laptop. She approached Vanko and Dmitri.

"Nice work boys. I will see that you are tended to accordingly. You are dismissed," Headmistress said.

The men grabbed their gear and left the lab.

"Now Natalia, this is your breaking point. You have made it this far, as I expected from you, but now that all comes to an end. You see, before we take control of you, I want you to be broken. Shattered into pieces like glass."

"I am not glass. You said it yourself, I am made of marble. And you will not break me. You will not control me. In these past few hours I have been kidnapped, shot, stabbed, raped, and waterboarded. If I can pass through that, I will not be broken."

"I admire your bravery, Natalia. But right now, in your words, you are Natasha. And Natasha is a weak, worthless woman, who spends her time working for a country that she doesn't belong to. Natasha is glass. For she is fragile. Only the fragile ones will break."

"How are you going to break me then?" asked Natasha.

"With this."

Headmistress opened the box and pulled out a syringe filled with a black substance. She went to go injected it into Natasha's neck.

"What is that?"

"A serum. It's stronger than the one you have flowing through your veins now."

"Why give it to me now?"

"Well, we can't have our most prized possession injured or covered in scars and burns. Your body will heal itself now."

She turned away and pulled a flash drive from the box. Headmistress stuck it in a port and it came up on the screen. Then she turned off the lights. A video, in black in white with poor quality, started. There was a beautiful house on a hill. It was dark outside and a light snow was falling with a little breeze. A light illuminated a window where you could see a mother and her young child. It was a little girl, who appeared to be about five years old.  _That's me. That's my family. My house. They took it away from me._ Natasha stayed silent and continued to watch. There was a figure dressed in black standing next to the house. A orange light appeared to be floating next to it. Then it began to grow. The figure was gone. The light was a flame, and it began to quickly engulf the house. In a matter of seconds, the fire had reached the second floor of the house. The little girl was screaming in fear. The father broke the window with what appeared to be a hammer, a possible escape route. Another figure approached. A man.  _Ivan._ He called out to the family. The mother cried out for help. A piece of burnt wood from the roof fell to the ground, embers still clearly visible. The roof began to collapse. The woman held out the child and dropped her out the window. The girl fell into the man's arms. Then the roof crumbled and collapsed on top of her parents. Their screams interrupted the silence in the air.  _No. No. No._ The man held the girl in his arms and walked away without an ounce of remorse. The house was still burning, crumbling into ashes. The last scream, her mother's, pierced the air. Then it was silence. Just the burning house. Tears slipped from Natasha's eyes. Watching her parents die was torture. Headmistress hit the replay button.

"No. Turn it off," Natasha pleaded. Headmistress smirked in satisfaction. "TURN IT OFF! Isn't this enough for you? Am I not broken?"

"Broken, but merely cracked. I want you shattered."

The video began again. Natasha closed her eyes. Headmistress noticed. She pulled out a smaller box filled with matches. She struck a match, drawing a flame. Headmistress placed it to Natasha's foot. Natasha felt a burning sensation on her toes. She opened her eyes and saw a flame dancing on her foot. It slowly crawled up her leg and torso. She began to scream out in agony. Then other screams joined her. It was her parents. They were burning together. The flames engulfed her neck.  _I'm going to die. I'm going to die. No more Red Room. No more angry governments and their officials. No more Avengers._ Headmistress splashed a bucket of ice cold water on Natasha to extinguish the flames. She was covered in burns and the end of her hair was singed. She struggled to stay conscious.

"No sleeping, Natasha. It is time for your final initiation. It is time to become Natalia again."

Headmistress turned on the lights and pulled out a weathered black journal. It had the emblem of the Black Widow on it. Even with her fuzzy vision, Natasha knew what it was.  _That's how she will control me. Like they did with Bucky. It never crossed my mind I could be like him. But I got mine decades after he did. Who knows how much stronger it is. What the fuck! The burns are disappearing already. Even Steve's doesn't work that fast._ Headmistress opened the book and flipped to the page.

"Oh broken Natasha, how does it feel to be worthless. A shell of a person you once were. Must be tough, because you are weak. Now I believe you know what this book is for. You told me that we wouldn't break you. Here you lie, broken. You said that we would never control you again. Here we are, about to have you wrapped around my finger. What do you have to say for yourself?" asked Headmistress.

"The government will notice when people start being killed with no evidence left behind. They will find me, and they will kill me. Game over for you. But you were right."

"Aren't I always. Any last words before you are reborn?"

"Natasha will be hiding, waiting to come out. My friends will find me. As I am now or as Natalia."

"So much determination. So much false hope. Goodbye Natasha. May your soul burn."

"Go to hell."

"Fire. Burning. Screams. Metal. Wood. Ballet. Marble. Purpose. Czar."

Every word, Natasha flinched. Her head began to pound and her vision blurred. She was losing awareness of her surroundings. She cried out, her last words,"I have a place in the world!" Then everything blacked out.

* * *

**Hours Later**

* * *

Natalia woke up in a white room in a bed that had a metal structure and a black button on the wall.  _Home sweet home._ She sat up and found a note that said,"Press the button."

She got up from the bed and pressed it. A few minutes later, Headmistress walked in, a file in tow.

"Headmistress."

"Natalia."

"What is this visit for?"

"Psych evaluation. You were missing for years. We need to make sure everything is well mentally before you are sent back out into the field."

"Yes, Headmistress."

"As I said before, you address me as Madam."

"Yes, Madam."

"What is your name?"

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova," said Natasha. She sounded as if she was a robot.

"What year were you born?"

"1928."

"Who do you serve?"

"Mother Russia. Only Mother Russia."

"What are Americans?"

"The kind of people that are to be wiped out. They are the slimy bastards who attempt to rule the world."

"Do you love anyone?"

"No love is for children."

"What are you made of?"

"Marble."

"What is your purpose in life?"

"To kill. To get information."

"And?"

"Other than that, I have no purpose in the world."

"Natalia, you have passed the psych evaluation. Here is the information on your next mission."

"Thank you Madam."

"Get to work Natalia," she walked to the doorway. "And, welcome home."

"Thank you."  _It's like I never left._

* * *


	6. End of Her Mission Hiatus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia goes on her first mission back with the Red Room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set 2 months after the previous one.

**Natalia's POV**

* * *

_Mission File:_

_Agent: Black Widow_

_Location: Lychenheim, Germany_

_Target: Dominic Puchin_

_Object: seduce and kill Puchin; retrieve stolen Red Room files_

_Background: In 2009, Puchin stole a flash drive with files on the Red Room from an old facility that was set to burned. He disappeared soon after. Yesterday, was reported to be planning to turn these in to a the Russian government in response to the attack in Amsterdam. His location appears to be in the small village of Lychenheim. Assumed to leave soon, but date is unknown._

_Target Characteristics:_

_Name: Dominic Puchin_

_Gender: male_

_Race: white_

_Hair color: brown_

_Eye color: brown_

_Height: 1.6 meters_

_Weight: 81 kilograms_

_Blood type: A positive_

_Other: short hair, above the ears; scar above right eye, going from his forehead to his ear; a limp on the left leg; local drunk, found in the village's bar; loner_

* * *

"I assume that I'm leaving now, Headmistress?" said Natalia, looking up from reading the file. She was wearing a white blouse with a brown skirt that was a little above her knee, along with black heels.

"Yes, Natalia. Your car is waiting up front for you to take to the airstrip. An agent will meet you there and fly you to Lychenheim. Then take care of the target and return immediately afterwards. Remember what I told you. You are dismissed. Do not fail this mission Natalia."

Natalia nodded and went outside where the car was waiting.

"Your suitcase is in the back," said the driver.

"I know."

He drove her to the airstrip and dropped her off. Natalia hopped on the helicopter and passed the time for the next few hours going over the mission file. She already had it memorized but was bored during the flight. Her phone was in her pocket, but she didn't really care for it that much. It made it easier for someone to possibly track her. She only used it for her cover and to contact the Red Room for extraction.  _No attachments. They only hold you back._ She checked her bag to make sure she had all her weapons.  _I think a knife would be best._ She slid one into the small of her back, tilting it at an angle, so it wouldn't be noticeable during the mission but would be easy to grab.

The helicopter landed in a field not far from the village. Natalia walked the rest of the way, arriving near sundown. It was a Saturday night and most of the villagers were either getting drinks or at home. It was quiet for the most part except for the music coming from the bar.  _Less witnesses._ She entered the bar and did a quick look around for the target. The other patrons eyed her mysteriously. They were not used to having guests in their area. Natalia found Dominic sitting at a table in the corner with a drink in his hand. She unbuttoned the top two buttons on her blouse and walked over to him. She sat down in the chair across from him.

"I hope this seat's not taken," Natalia said smoothly.

"Nah, it's all yours," said Dominic. The two stared at each other in silence.

"I take it that you didn't mean to come here. Know everyone here in this place and you're not one of them."

She smirked. "Some accidents work out for the better, you know."

"I see. What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Could ask you the same thing."

"Well it just so happens that I asked you first."

"Ada. Ada Fritz," she said.

"Dominic Puchin. Finest man in town."

"I've seen plenty of men that look ten times better than you."

He chuckled. "Correction. Finest single man in town."

They talked for about an hour before Natalia's flirtations convinced him to take her home with him. His house wasn't that far from the bar. The two walked to his house with their arms draped over each others shoulders like they were old lovers. Dominic couldn't help but look down at Natalia's breasts that were exposed by her partly unbuttoned shirt. G

"Wait until we get inside Dominic. Then you can play with them all you want," said Natalia.

"Yes mam." He opened the door and led her inside.

Natalia quickly looked over the house. Everything about it was small and organized.  _Small kitchen. Small tv. Small sofa. Small hallway. Probably a small bedroom. And dick._ He gestured for her to follow him to his bedroom. She smiled and trailed after him. He closed the door behind them. Natalia noticed the a bag packed in the corner.

"Going on a trip soon?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm going to Moscow tomorrow for some business. Don't worry it won't interfere with our time tonight."

Natalia who grabbed him by the collar. "Okay."

She kissed him. Dominic returned it, and they made their way to the bed. Clothes began flying off in between the passionate kisses. The two were only in their underwear. Dominic stopped and hunched over her body, grinning down at her with a glint in his eye. She knew this look. It was the look of a man lusting for sex. His erection was clearly visible and felt whenever he pressed against her body. He was distracted. This was the opening Natalia was waiting for. She pulled him in for one last kiss and slipped her hand under her back to grab the knife and hid it in her hand in one of the folds in the sheets. Then he pulled away again.

"Ready for the main event Ada?" Dominic asked reaching to unclasp her bra, oblivious to what she was about to do..

"Yeah, but I think mine's a little different from yours." She brought her knee up and struck him in the groin. He doubled over in pain falling off the bed in the process.

"What the fuck? What was that for!" he said angrily getting up from the ground.

"It was for endangering the Red Room."

"Who are you?"

"The Black Widow."

She got up from the bed, knife in hand. Dominic threw a punch which Natalia easily dodged. She kicked him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him, making him fall. She jumped on him and tried to slit his throat. He pushed her hand away making the knife fly out of her grip and land a few feet away. Dominic grabbed her body and threw her on the ground and began to throw more punches. Natalia grabbed his fist and holding it in place. She rolled out from underneath him and jumped on his shoulders. Her legs wrapped around his neck and began to slowly suffocate him. He rammed himself against a wall, but her grip didn't slip. Then Natalia took her hands and snapped his neck. Dominic fell to the ground, dead. Natalia stood up, exhausted, looking over her victim. She stripped him of his underwear and dragged his body to the bathroom. She turned on the shower and placed him inside the bathtub, positioning him to look like he slipped and broke his neck. By the time the village people figure out what happened, she'll be long gone.

Natalia went back into the room and put her clothes back on. She grabbed her knife and put it back in the small of her back. Then she opened Dominic's bags to get the files. They were at the bottom of the bag under the flap that covers the inside portion of the handle.  _Was this guy actually going to have this in his checked luggage. Idiot. Put it in carry-on. Checked-luggage will get lost and delayed._ She put the flashdrive in her coat and left.

Natalia walked to the outskirts of the city. Nobody was awake or outside to see her. Even if there was, the blanket of darkness covered her exit. She went back to the field and called her escort.

"Mission has been completed and is a success. Ready for pickup at the rendezvous point."

"We'll be there in two hours. Headmistress will be waiting when you arrive." Then the escort hung up the phone.

Natalia examined her injuries from Dominic. She opened the camera app on her phone and looked at her face. There was a bruise beginning to form on her cheek.  _Nothing a little makeup can't fix._ She put her phone in her bag and laid down in the grass. The sky was clear that night. Stars illuminated the sky along with the moon.  _The stars so far away, yet they bring so much hope to people down here. They say that they're beautiful. I don't see it. Yeah they might look beautiful from here, but the closer you get the uglier they become. So bright and orange. They'll burn you once you get close enough. They give off energy that kills any living thing without protection. Their light radiates while the give us radiation poisoning. Sure the sun is a star. But what happens if it explodes. It kills us all, destroys everything around it. The sky's merchants of death._

The sound of the helicopter interrupted Natalia's thoughts letting her know that it was time to go. She grabbed her bag and hopped in. The flight back was smooth. Natalia prepared for the debriefing. When they landed, Headmistress was waiting for her with a laptop on hand. She handed her the flash drive.

"These are the files that he stole." Natalia said. Headmistress plugged it in and read over the screen.

"Thank you Natalia, you have succeeded in your mission. Tomorrow morning we will be working on improving your skills to beyond perfection. There is a reward waiting in your quarters. You are dismissed to your quarters." said Headmistress.

"Goodnight Headmistress," said Natalia.

"Goodnight Natalia."

Natalia walked to her quarters. She stayed in a grey cottage near the training facility. It was quite simple, except for the ballet studio in the back. Floor to ceiling mirrors and a dark stained wooden barre. Only she, Anya, and Headmistress had cottages. The spiderlings stayed in the floors above the training facility. They all slept in metal beds arranged in neat rows. With white sheets in a room with white walls. All of them were handcuffed to their beds as they slept to make sure no one would attempt to escape. Even if they tried, they'd either be captured or killed before they made it down the hallway. The trainers and other staff lived on the floors above and below the spiderlings. They had their own rooms but they were really small, only consisting of a bed and a chest.

Natalia entered her cottage and locked the door. She went into her bedroom and found a box lying on the table. She sat down on her bed. She opened it and took out what was inside. It was an old music box. She wound up the handle and watched it open. There was a porcelain ballerina inside in doing a pirouette as she spun around. She was dressed in white. Her red hair was pulled up in a bun, surrounded by a white ribbon. Soft music began to play.  _Dance of the Snowflakes. I remember doing that dance once. A lifetime ago._

There was a small compartment in the box. Natalia opened it and found a picture of herself. It was in black and white. She was dressed in her ballet attire, in the same pose as the ballerina in the music box. She was younger, early twenties perhaps. She ran her hand over the picture. Something cold hit her finger. Natalia flipped the picture to the back where there was a ring taped to the back of it. She took it off and slipped it on her finger. She stared at it for a while. Then she yanked it off her finger and threw it at the wall in anger.  _Don't do this Natalia. This is a test. He's dead. And he'll stay that way. The past is the past. Don't let it haunt the present._ She picked up the ring and put it in the compartment. Hidden. Like her past.

Natalia showered and laid down in her bed. She couldn't go to sleep. There was too much on her mind. She got out of bed and grabbed her pointe shoe. She found herself in her ballet studio. Natalia stood in the middle of the room and danced in the quiet of the night. Her shadow moved across the room with grace. She danced non-stop for hours. Even when pain began to run through her feet, she kept dancing. Even when blood began soaking through her shoes, she didn't miss a step. She paid no attention to the bloody footprints all over the floor. It was only a piece of the art in her routine. The sky began to brighten and be painted with the vibrant colors of the dawn. As the first light of the sun appeared, Natalia stopped. She removed her shoes and threw them into the corner. Their soles were stained in a coppery-red.  _They can be washed later. Same as the floor. As for my feet, they'll be wrapped now._ She went into her room to wrap her feet and to get ready for the day's training.


	7. The Aftermath of Her Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia trains with Anya and witnesses a Reaping. Headmistress has big news for her agent.

**Natalia's POV**

* * *

Natalia exited her grey cottage. She had on a black long sleeved shirt with matching leggings. The bruises on her face were covered by makeup. Her shoulder-length blonde hair splayed behind her as a gentle breeze flowed through the air as she walked along a stone path to the mess hall. She was in desperate need of coffee before her training exercises. Dancing all night can take the energy out of anyone. Her feet were cleaned and wrapped before she left the cottage. There was pain in every step she took.  _Like the mermaid in the story, I feel as if I'm walking on glass. Don't let them see your weakness, Natalia. They'll punish you for weakness. That's what they do to the weaker candidates. But their failures were usually only a one-time thing. Their punishment were death._

Natalia stepped under the overhang where the door to the mess hall was located. She pressed her hand to the screen by the door, so it could scan her fingerprints to enter the facility. The lock on the door made a clicking sound, letting her know that she could enter. Since it was Sunday, the Spiderlings were eating inside and not in their room. All of them turned their heads when they saw her come in. Natalia dismissed their looks. She knew that they looked at her as a legend. She was the goddamn Black Widow for pete's sake. The Red Room's most prized spy and assassin. Of course the Spiderlings were going to look at her like that. She was who they wanted to be. But only one girl from this class of spiderlings would have a chance to make it to the graduation ceremony. The class originally had twenty-eight girls. Now there were only eleven. Another reaping match was to take place later on in the day.

She walked over to the oats line. The serving lady gave her two scoops of oatmeal and sent her on her way. The oatmeal was extremely watery. It lacked consistency.  _The oatmeal and the spiderlings both have that in common._ She walked over to the coffee station and prepared the drink. There wasn't any sugar or cream in the Red Room, so all coffee was to be drunk black. Not that she minded. That's how she always drank it anyway. It was to remind them to never sugarcoat things while in the Red Room, unless ordered to. Natalia carried her bowl of oatmeal and coffee to a table in the corner. She ate quickly and silently. She left her bowl on the table and left the mess hall.

The caffeine from the coffee began to kick in as Natalia made her way to the training facility. Anya, another assassin who went by the name of Recluse, was already in there, doing target practice. She graduated the Red Room a few years after Natalia. She had dark brown hair which was pulled up in a messy bun most of the time. Her clothing attire was the same as Natalia's. Natalia and Anya weren't what a normal person would call friends, but they weren't normal people. They were the closest thing to friends in the Red Room. Although, they were more like distant sisters. Recluse and Black Widow didn't have to worry about being pitted against each other to see who would win. For one thing, both were valued agents of the Red Room. Second, Headmistress knew who would win. And if they failed in some way, they will endure a special type of punishment. Besides Anya is her daughter and Natalia was like a daughter. As fun as it would be to put your children against each other, she needed to ensure the survival of the Red Room by ensuring the survival of her agents.

"Do you want to spar, Natalia?" Anya asked. She hit the target dead in the center. The blade of the knife was visible through the other side.

"Sure, if you are done impaling the poor dummy."

Anya pulled the knives out of the targets and put them back on a shelf.

"I'm done."

The two assassins made their way to the sparring mat. Natalia pulled her hair back into a small ponytail behind her head. They stood at opposite sides of the mat and bowed before they began. They got into their defensive positions, each waiting for the other to move. Anya struck first. The two fought for a few minutes before Natalia claimed the first victory. They went for a few more rounds, eventually gathering an audience of the Spiderlings and their trainers. Natalia won the last match. She had won five and Anya won two. The two bowed to each other once again and faced the Spiderlings who had been watching in awe. They had gotten to see the Red Room's top two agents participate in a sparring match against each other. The Spiderlings had come into the training facility for the reaping match. The weakest Spiderling was going to fight with the strongest. In this case it was a girl named Yelena who was to fight Lada, the top Spiderling in the class. Yelena was a scrawny blonde girl who was always lagging behind the other Spiderlings. She was too weak to be part of the program anymore. It was Lada's job to kill her. To get rid of the liability. Besides, it would mean one less mouth to feed.

"Did you enjoy your treat Spiderlings?" asked Natalia.

They nodded in response. They were not to answer with their voice unless individually addressed.

"Good. But that is not why we're here. As you know today is the day of the Reaping. It is now that the weak and the strong will fight to the death. This is to get rid of the weak. Our agents do not need to be squashed like cockroaches," Natalia said.

"One of you will be like us one day. An agent of the Red Room. Watch closely little ones. Only the best will graduate from this class," said Anya. "At this time, there are too many of you to have a clear idea on who that will be. But we do know who will fail. Be prepared little ones. Death is forever waiting at your doorstep."

"Now, the candidates of today's Reaping, please approach the mat."

Lada walked over to the mat. Her steps had a bit of cockyiness to them. She smirked at Anya who returned it in approval. Yelena followed behind her. She slowly walked to the mat, knowing that death was waiting for her. And she wasn't ready to go. The two girls stood opposite each other on the mat, surrounded by the other spiderlings and staff. Headmistress then entered the room to start the Reaping.

"You girls were selected for today's Reaping. For one of you, it is an honor. For the other, it is the seal on your death. You know who you are. There will only be one victory of this match. She will receive an award for her accomplishment. The dead will be burned and forgotten. Now, at the ring of the gun, let the Reaping begin," said Headmistress.

The girls got into their defensive positions, waiting for the sound to start off the match. Headmistress fired and the fight commenced. Lada struck first. She promptly kicked Yelena in the stomach, who was on the floor in seconds. She struggled to get back on her feet. The kick merely knocked the wind out of her, making it the perfect distraction. Lada put her in a choke-hold as she was down. Yelena frantically elbowed her in the chest, making her loosen her hold. Then she wriggled her away out of her arms and threw a punch at her head. It landed on Lada's temple, knocking her down on the floor. Yelena went down with her and began to land more punches on the girl. Lada weakly pushed her off and attempted to sweep her feet from out under her. Yelena quickly dodged the attack, her scrawny body allowing her to be quite lithe. She pounced on Lada and wrapped her arms around her neck in a chokehold, just as she did to her earlier. Lada began to squirm and repeatedly hit Yelena to escape. Her eyes showed fear while Yelena's showed fury. Yelena looked down at Lada and smiled. Then she snapped her neck. Lada's body went still, her neck at an awkward angle. A trickle of blood ran down the side of her mouth. Yelena stood up as the victory of the day's Reaping. The underdog. Headmistress approached her with a thin smile on her face.

"Here is the victory of today's Reaping, Yelena Belova. She is an example of how one should not underestimate their opponent. With assumption, the weak can become strong and the strong can become weak," Headmistress said in a serious tone. "0987 and 0275, please start the protocol for dead Spiderlings."

Two agents approached the mat and hauled Lada's body away. They disappeared through the doors that led to the cremation chamber. The Red Room had taken to burning bodies instead of doing mass graves. It led to the less likely possibility of them being found.

"Now that that is being taken care of, Spiderlings you are to remain in here for today's training session. You are dismissed to prepare the room," she said. The trainers and the Spiderlings began to disperse, leaving Headmistress, Anya, and Natalia by the mat. Headmistress grabbed Yelena's shoulder before she went with others. "Follow me. You too, Widow and Recluse."

The three followed her into the hallway. Headmistress led them to the elevator which accessed her office. It was at the top of the building in a separate space. Spiderlings, agents, and staff were only to report there if they were invited. Not even Anya or Natalia could come up there without an invitation, unless it was an extremely urgent matter. They exited the lift and walked down a long hallway. There was a door at the end of it that led to the office. Headmistress unlocked the door, and the four entered the room which consisted of a darkly stained mahogany desk and chair. There were a lot of shelves that held books. It was rumored that there was a secret room behind the shelves that led to the basement of the facility. The basement housed all the files of the Red Room and labs. It wasn't a rumor, but the Spiderlings didn't know that. Headmistress sat down behind her desk and waited to address the people standing in her office. Anya, Natalia, and Yelena patiently stood awaiting orders.

"Yelena, I want to formally congratulate you on your victory in today's Reaping. As we all know, the odds were not in your favor," said Headmistress.

"Thank you Headmistress."

"And as I said earlier, you are to receive an award."

"Yes Headmistress."

"Well, your award will be the opportunity to train with either the Black Widow or Recluse. Only the Spiderling at the top of her class is to receive this honor. And by killing Lada you will receive this honor."

"I am honored Headmistress."

"Your trainer will be determined by the flip of this coin I have in my hand. Recluse is heads and Black Widow is tails. Are you ready?"

_Is Headmistress really choosing who trains Yelena with a coin flip? Yeah, this is definitely the best way to decide who should train her. Totally. I am not fit to play teacher. I'm an agent, not a babysitter with benefits. Besides if she fails, that lands on me. I'm not about to be responsible for that._

Headmistress flipped the coin. It sailed through the air and landed on her desk with a clatter. It was dead silent for a moment."

"Heads. Recluse is to be your trainer."

Yelena turned to Anya who quickly smiled at her before her face became serious again. Natalia was just relieved that it didn't land on heads and sighed in her mind.

"You and Recluse are to begin your training immediately. You are dismissed. Natalia, please stay back for a moment."

Anya lead Yelena out of the office. She turned and winked at Natalia who returned it with a playful smirk. She gave her attention back to Headmistress who was tossing the coin around. She suddenly slammed the coin onto the desk. Her hand pulled away revealing it to be embedded into the wood. Natalia didn't think much of it, except from a familiar phrase she heard.  _That is mahogany._ That's when she saw it. Both sides of the coin were heads. A trick coin.  _Headmistress never showed both sides of the coin. She just said who was heads and who was tails. She wanted Anya to win the toss. But why?_

"I take it that you're curious on to why I wanted Anya to win," Headmistress said, amused.

"Yes."

"You wouldn't make a very good teacher. That's not your skillset. Yelena would be destined to fail if you were to teach her."

"I know."

"Anya on the other hand, she's naturally a teacher. Yelena would thrive under her instruction. She'll probably take over the Red Room once I'm dead and gone. You on the other hand, I believe that you're better suited for the field than teaching a Spiderling."

"I agree."

"That is part of my gift to you for the success of yesterday's mission. And for your return."

"I thought that you already gave me a gift."

"The music box and the picture, along with the ring," she laughed. "Those were merely a trifles, housewarming gifts. This is part of the actual gift. Forget what I told you last night. That was only a lie to throw you off the surprise."

"So, not having to teach Yelena is the real gift."

"Only part of it, like I said."

"Am I allowed to know the other part?"

"Yes," she said. "We're going to further enhance you. Strengthen your serum, build up immunity to brainwashing or mind control. Get you prepared for a mission that we're going to have you on in a few months."

"I take it the mission is classified until further notice?"

"Yes, you will know when it's time. Until then, we will be placing you in cryofreeze."

"I'm going under again. I've only been out for like what? A month? What about missions? Anya will be too busy training with Yelena."

"We'll send someone else. You realize that we have other agents right? It's not just you and Anya. If it's high risk, I'll send Anya to do it. The Red Room will still be here when you wake up."

"Why am I going under? I can just supervise the Spiderlings training sessions and Reapings."

"A lot of people are looking for you."

"What else is new."

"Let me rephrase this. A lot of countries are looking for you. They know your face, your identity. Everything about you that SHIELD had is online. We need for the news about you to die down before we can send you back out in the field again. And that won't be until after your next mission."

"What did I do?" Natalia asked warily. If she failed in some shape or form, why wasn't she being punished for it.

"Nothing to discuss right now. You are to report to my office at 9:00 sharp tomorrow morning. Get a full meal and full night's sleep. Please do not dance the night away again Natalia. It might interfere with the serum in a way. The rest of the day is yours. You are dismissed."

Natalia nodded and left Headmistress' office. She went to go find Anya and Yelena. She needed to tell Anya. It was her right to know. She found them in the back room in the training facility. Yelena was working on her kicks as Anya watched. Natalia watched as she kicked the dummy again and again. She was like a machine. She had never seen that side of Yelena before today. She watched for a few more minutes until Anya noticed her standing in the corner. She ordered Yelena to keep training and walked over to greet her.

"I see that you put her right to work," said Natalia.

"I'm giving her a little head start. Skip the pleasantries and get down to business. Where've you been doing?" Anya asked out of curiosity.

"Talking to Headmistress," she said. Natalia sighed. "They're putting me back in cryo tomorrow. Said that I'll wake up in a few months for a mission."

"That was fast," Anya said surprised. "I thought they would leave you out longer. You've only done one mission, so far. The rest of time you were training."

"I guess it was pure luck that you were chosen to be Yelena's trainer."

"Maybe. Or it was rigged. Who knows?"

Natasha laughed.

They awkwardly stood there for a moment not knowing what to say.

"I should go. You need to work. I probably won't see you before I go under," Natalia said.

"I guess this is goodbye then."

"For now."

"Yeah. For now."

Natalia left Anya and Yelena in the back room. She began to observe everything in the facility.  _Will it look different here when I wake up? How many girls will still be here? Six, seven? Am I gonna wake up in a totally different world? It was easier when she wasn't so open. When the cryo-freezes would just happen without warning. I wouldn't have to worry as much._  As she walked towards the exit, the patter of rain could be heard.  _Probably pouring outside. And I'm not about to wait it out._ Her suspicions were confirmed when she looked out the window and saw the rain pelting everything outside. She quickly ran to her cottage through the pouring rain. By the time she made her way inside, she was soaked. Natalia promptly peeled off her wet closed and took a long, hot, shower.  _Last one of these for a while._ She looked at her scars.  _Probably the last time I'll ever see these again._ She got out of the shower and put on some grey sweatpants and a black long-sleeved shirt. Natalia fell into her bed with a thump. She looked over at the clock.  _4:01. I guess it'll be fine to go to sleep now. I can always eat breakfast in the morning._ Her eyes closed as she drifted into a sweet slumber, not to be disturbed until the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that read the comics, I think y'all know who Yelena is. And 23 more days til Infinity War! Who's excited besides me and a few other million people. Thanks for reading and will update when I get the chance.


	8. She's Going Under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia is preparing to go back in cryo-freeze. But does she really want to go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally random but I took a Buzzfeed quiz about which 3 marvel characters i'm a mix of and i got Nat, Bucky, and Okoye. "You're a combo of Black Widow, Okoye, and Bucky Barnes. You're intuitive, practical, and fearless. You're someone who would sacrifice your own well-being for the safety of those around you. You've survived a lot of hardship, and you've come out stronger on the other side." All I got from this is that Buzzfeed thinks I'm an assassin/spy/warrior who likes to kick people's asses. You can carry on with your life now. Which includes reading this chapter.

 

 

**Natalia's POV**

Natalia didn't wake up until around 5:15 the next morning. She wasn't to report to her session until nine. That gave her four hours to prepare. It was too much time. It wasn't like could just go back to sleep, for she had already slept for more than thirteen hours. And she couldn't go to the mess hall for some food. It didn't open for a couple more hours. Natalia had a small kitchenette in her cottage, but it was mostly for show. Why would a person need a kitchenette if there was a mess hall providing all of your food. There were a few soup cans in the cabinet along with some tea bags, zavarka ingredients, and pots. If she felt like it, she could eat some mushroom soup, but she wasn't feeling it at the moment. Natalia just laid in her bed staring at the ceiling, lost in her thoughts, engulfed by the silence of the earlier morning.

_What did I do to deserve this? I wake up after thirteen years only to be sent back under after three months. I know this is routine for agents, but it just seems like a waste of a resource. Headmistress isn't know or keen on sending top agents into cryo. She said that something happened that compromised me. SHIELD got hold of my information somehow and dumped it on the internet. How did it fall into SHIELD's hands in the first place. This facility is under top-secret and heavily guarded. Even if they got past the guards, they would have to go through the countless number of trainers, spies, assassins, and the Spiderlings. Was there a mole? And why now do all the governments decide to look for me? There has always been hints about my existence from every mission I've done. Every act committed. Why now? Is it because they know my name? My missions? Then there would been agents everywhere. Something went down while I was out._

Natalia turned her head to look at the clock.  _5:27._ There was still a lot of time to kill. She rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen to make some tea. The floors were freezing cold under her bare feet. She opened up one of the top cabinets and pulled out the ingredients for the zavarka. She pulled out a teapot from the bottom cabinet and set it on the stovetop. Then Natalia set out on making the zavarka. It didn't take long for her to make it. She promptly poured herself a cup to drink. The hot tea made her feel all warm inside as it slowly ran down her throat. It wasn't the best zavarka that she had, but it was bearable. There weren't any teas in the mess hall, only coffee and water, so only the staff that had their own cottages could have tea. And only the higher ups got cottages like her, Anya, and Headmistress, and none of them would dare ask any of the staff to make their tea. Just out of paranoia. Natalia was drinking her tea when she heard a knock at the door. She grabbed a knife from the safe, defensively holding it in her hand. She cautiously approached the door. The knocking persisted before she unlocked it. It was one of the guards. He was holding a small box in his arms.

"Headmistress said to give this to you. It's for you to wear for your session," the guard said. He handed her the box.

"Thank you."

The guard left and Natalia closed the door. She went to her room and set the box on her bed. She took the knife and sliced through the tape sealing it. Inside were some leggings and a black tank-top. Presumably for the session in a few hours. It was 6:01. There were still three hours that had to pass, so she decided not to put it on then. There wasn't much to do until it was time. Natalia could've passed the time training or dancing, but she didn't know if a workout would affect the procedures in some way. There weren't any televisions to watch. They were only for the rare movies nights that the Spiderlings got as a "treat". She settled on reading a book. The cottage had a shelf in the living room filled with different titles. They were usually on weapons and defense, though there were a few on other subjects like fashion, different sciences, the arts, and even a few fairy tales. The really grim ones of course. Natalia ended up choosing a book on the human anatomy and health to read. Most of the information was familiar as she had learned it as a young girl during her training. The time went by faster as she read. Around 8:30 she finished reading the book. She slammed it shut and looked at the time. Seeing that she only had thirty minutes, she quickly jumped off the bed and started to get ready. She brushed her teeth and washed her face in the bathroom. Then she slipped on the clothes Headmistress sent along with a pair of flats.

She combed through her thick, matted hair. It was still as blonde as it had been when she first came out of cryo. It was a little bit longer than before, as it now barely brushed her shoulders. Natalia had asked Headmistress about it a few days after she had woken up. She said that she had dyed it for the last mission she had before going under. She wanted to dye it back to red, but Headmistress told her to keep it for a little bit longer. Most likely for this mystery mission she was supposed to go on. Eventually Natalia combed out all the knots and was able to use a brush to smooth it down. She left her hair out to rest on her shoulders. 8:47. Thirteen minutes to walk to Headmistress' office which was on the other side of the facility. It would be more of a run than a walk, but she could make it in time. Natalia unlocked her cottage door and made her way to the facility. The Spiderlings were training outside as she ran past them.  _Who will be left when I wake up? Will this place even be here when I wake up?_ She shook the thoughts from her head and entered the building. The hallways were near empty, allowing her to run through them without colliding with anyone. Not that she would care of course. She quickly arrived at the elevator which lead to Headmistress' office. Two guards were at post waiting for her arrival. She acknowledged them and entered the elevator. The ride seemed to last for hours, even though it was only a few seconds. It would be a while before she experienced any of this again. A guard was standing by Headmistress' office door when she approached. He opened the door to reveal her sitting at her desk inside.  _This is it Natalia._ The door closed behind her, leaving Natalia and Headmistress alone in the room.

Headmistress looked up and said,"Are you ready Natalia?"

"Yes."

Headmistress stood up and walked toward her bookshelf. She pulled three books out from the shelf. Natalia heard a click and watched the shelf separate into two, revealing a room behind it. The room was bare except for a winding staircase heading downstairs.

"Follow me."

The two walked down the rusted metal stairs. The farther down they went the darker it got. Eventually, the stairs ended in a concrete chamber. There was a steel door leading to the entrance of the basement. Headmistress approached a panel next to the door and typed in a passcode before doing an optical scan. The door slid open with a small creak, revealing the lab. It was a regular-sized space with plain white walls and a sterile odor to it. There were many computers and machines inside, along with medical supplies and a hospital bed. About a dozen people were working at different stations, preparing and checking the equipment. Two of the workers approached Natalia and Headmistress.

"Is everything ready?" Headmistress asked the workers.

"Yes. We were just doing some of the final checks," the female worker said. She looked Natalia up and down observing her body and attire. "Please remove your shoes and follow me Agent Romanova."

Natalia was led to the hospital bed in the middle of the lab. She laid down in the bed as she watched the lab workers surround her. One of them strapped her wrists to the bed with leather binds. He did the same with her ankles at the base of the bed. A scientist brought over a tray with a large needle laying on top of it. He had a scientist bend her head down and hold her hair up, leaving the back of her neck and the base of her head exposed. Natalia felt a prick on the base of her head. The scientist placed the needle back on the tray.

"What did you give me?" Natalia asked curiously.

"A disrupter. It monitors and stabilizes your brain waves. It makes it so you aren't affected by brainwashing or psychic attacks," the scientist said. He turned to a lab worker at a computer. "Is it online yet?"

"It is as of now," said the woman at the computer.

"Starting now Agent Romanova, no more questions," said the scientist. He looked at Headmistress from across the room who nodded in approval.

A scientist retrieved an IV set from a table. The IV bag was filled with a translucent blue liquid. She attached it to an IV line and set it on a stand, which was rolled over to the hospital bed. The scientist that had given her the disrupter grabbed turned her arm and inserted the IV needle. He turned the handle, allowing the fluid inside to flow down the line and into Natalia's body. Another leather strap was tied to her arm a few inches above the IV site. Natalia's veins began to dilate and some began to rise nearer to the surface of her skin allowing her to see the blue fluid running through her veins. She began to feel hot and clammy. Her body began to sweat profusely.

"These are the beginning stages of the serum. The pain will follow shortly," the lead scientist told Natalia. "Just keep in mind why you're doing this."

Not long after the scientist told her, the pain arrived. At first her fingers started involuntarily twitching. It felt like her hands had fallen asleep. Nothing that she couldn't handle. Then the burning came. It started in her stomach area. And it spread farther down her body. It felt as she had been left in a standing fire, not able to move anywhere. Natalia's body bucked and struggled against her bonds, trying to escape the searing pain. Her screams and cries fell on deaf ears as the scientists stood back and watched her like as they were watching a lamb being sent to the slaughter house. After the burning started, a feeling of sharp punctures to her body occured. Along with feeling like she was being burned alive, it felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing her. Her screams grew louder and louder. As her screams got louder, the amount of fluid in the IV bag decreased. This went on for an hour until all of the contents were emptied out of the bag and into Natalia's body. She passed out for a few minutes after the pain disappeared. She awoke with the faces of half a dozen scientists staring down at her.

"You are done with the procedure. We just need to do a few tests before sending you into cryo-freeze," said the lead scientist.

Natalia nodded back at him. A scientist pulled her shirt up to reveal the mysterious scar on her abdomen. Or perfectly unblemished skin which was in its place. A scar on her shoulder was also missing, smooth skin in its place.  _Serum. They gave me a serum. I have a healing factor of some kind._ The scientist pulled her shirt back down. Another scientist gave Natalia a finger prick. She gave it to another scientist to look at.

"Natalia, we need you to try to pull against the leather bonds. See if you can break free," a scientist told her.

She pulled against the straps with all she could muster. They didn't seem to budge. She pulled even harder. She heard a snap and saw that her left hand was free. The same was done with her right hand. Then she unbuckled the straps on her ankles and stood up from the hospital bed. The scientists agreed that the serum was working and prepared to send her into cryo-freeze. A group of them left to start the chamber, leaving Natalia, Headmistress, and a few others in the room. Headmistress walked over to Natalia, the clacking of her heels filling the room.

"I guess it's time," Natalia said. She wasn't ready to go. Not at all. But it wasn't her choice.

"Yes it is. I know that you haven't been out long, but this is an important mission. And it's important for any trace of you to vanish for a little while. This is for the best." Natalia tried to understand, but it just wasn't working.

"Agent Romanova," a worker said. "I need you to follow me."

The worker led Natalia and Headmistress into another, larger room that had cryogenic chambers inside. Some of the them were empty. Others were occupied. But there was only one that was open. Only one for her. It was tucked away in a corner away from the others, surrounded by the group of scientists. Natalia slowly walked towards the chamber, stopping about a yard in front of it.

"Enter when ready," the lead scientist said.

Natalia stared at the chamber for a split second before stepping inside. She turned around and leaned back on the slanted platform. She closed her eyes and listened to sound of the closing door. Then the cold set in. Then there was nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Sorry that its been a while. My life has died down a bit and I believe updates will be more often. Infinity War broke my heart. They killed all my babies! :( Still recovering by the way. I think this story will have 10 more chapters at the most. I'm already planning out my next fanfic so be ready. Thanks for sticking with me. Love you guys!


	9. He Tells Them He Loved Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky begins to tell the team about his past with Natasha.

 

**Bucky’s POV**

 

It had been three months since the attack in Amsterdam. The fugitive Avengers and T’Challa had yet to find anything on Natasha. Sam, Steve, and Clint were working day and night, desperate to find answers for their friend. They had only gotten two leads so far and one was already a dead end. Sam and Steve split the time between looking for Natasha and doing missions they received from T’Challa. Clint always stayed behind to be with his family and to continue the search in case anything came up. Wanda had left to live in Scotland and would occasionally check in to see if there was more news. Laura attempted to distract the kids from the investigation, telling them not to worry about their aunt. But not even she could shield them from the dark circles on the avengers’ faces from the numerous all-nighters the pulled.

 

Bucky mostly stayed in his room. He would come out to eat everyday and would play with the Barton kids every once in a while but would always retreat back to his quarters. Steve would often visit him when he wasn’t on missions, and they would talk for hours, but his visits were becoming more infrequent. The search for Natasha usually took up most of his time now and days. Bucky had yet to tell him about his connection to her from HYDRA and the Red Room. It never seemed like a good time to do it. He often considered that his knowledge of her habits might help with the investigation, but he stayed quiet. Natasha was still special to him. Or when he knew her back then, Natalia. 

 

***Flashback***

 

_ James listened to the light breaths Natalia took as she was sleeping. She was wrapped in his embrace, snuggled close to his chest. As much as he liked seeing her so calm and innocent, he needed to wake her soon. She was pregnant with his baby, and the graduation ceremony was tomorrow. They needed to leave before sunrise to make sure it didn’t happen. The Red Room would not only kill the baby, they would punish them both for it. He couldn't let that happen. They were leaving, forever, to start a family far away. The goal was to get to America and live there for the rest of their days. They had already chosen names for the baby. If it was a boy, his name would be Dmitri. If it was a girl, her name would be Rose. He had a feeling that it would be a girl. The thoughts of a family consumed his mind, distracting James from the soft patter of footsteps getting closer and closer to the room until it was too late. _

_ Agents burst into the room, causing the two to bolt up in surprise. James still had Natalia in his arms. Her eyes shone with fear at the events that were to follow. An agent reached to grab her. James struck him with his metal arm, killing him. More people filed in as the assassins struggled to fight them all off. A woman pointed her gun at Natalia. James pushed her out of the way and felt a sharp prick in his neck. He became disoriented after a few seconds struggling to keep his balance. _

 

_ {James! James!} Natalia cried fearfully.  _

 

_ His eyes focused on her desperately clinging onto him as the agents attempted to pry her off. One of them stuck her neck with a needle, causing her body to go limp. They dragged her out of the room. _

 

_ {NOOO!} James screamed. He tried to push the people away, but was quickly pinned down. He thrashed and protested against the agents. Then there was darkness. _

 

***End of Flashback***

 

Today was the day. He couldn’t put it off any longer. Steve needed to know. He’d already waited long enough. Bucky was going to tell him about Natalia. About the Red Room. About HYDRA. Everything. He didn’t know how, but he was.

 

Bucky got out of bed and quickly got ready. He threw on some black shorts and a t-shirt and gathered his hair into a low ponytail. He promptly left his room once he was done and began to make his way to the communal kitchen on the floor. The rest of the Avengers were most likely already there eating breakfast, so it would be a perfect time to talk to Steve afterwards. His room wasn’t that far from the kitchen, giving him less time to think the situation over. Butterflies began to flood his stomach and thoughts raced through his head.  _ What if Steve doesn’t take it well? He might get mad. No he will get mad. What about when he has to tell the others? Clint’s like her brother. There’s no telling how he’ll take it. Will they be able to look at me the same _ ? It got worse when he entered the kitchen area, knowing that it was gonna be now or never. 

 

The rest of his friends were oblivious to his current predicament and were engrossed in their own lives. Sam, Steve, Clint, and Laura were deep into a conversation. From what he could hear, they were discussing ideas on farms.  _ Clint and Laura have a farm. Maybe they’re trying to go back. _ The kids were eating their food at the smaller table while making faces at Nathaniel, trying to make him laugh. Lila seemed to be the one who was succeeding. Bucky quietly walked up to the table. Sam noticed him trying to be sneaky and quickly announced his presence.

 

“Look who decided to join us for breakfast! It’s the unsocial butterfly himself, Bucky Barnes!” Sam said enthusiastically. 

 

Laura laughed. She turned around and told Bucky good morning. He pulled out the seat that was next to her and Clint. Sam and Steve sat across from them on the other side of the table. 

 

“Hey man,” Clint said. His voice was muffled because of the pancake that he had stuffed in his mouth. 

 

“Hey.”

 

“Bucky if you want some pancakes, there’s some on the counter overthere.” Laura cocked her head over to the direction. “Some bacon and eggs too if you want.”

 

“Thank you.” He stood up and fixed his plate. He got three pancakes, four strips of bacon, and two large spoonfuls of eggs. It wasn’t going to fill him up, but he wanted to wait to see if anyone else wanted any more food before he ate it all.

 

“You sleep well?” Steve asked him as soon as he sat back down. His plate still had a little bit of pancake left on it that was soon to be eaten.

 

“Meh. It was okay,” Bucky said. He ate a piece of his egg before adding,”I would ask you the same thing, but I think I know the answer to that question.”

 

It was a bit obvious who got more sleep than others. Steve and Clint both had dark circles and bags under their eyes. The shine in Steve’s eyes had dulled. The weariness in his voice was evident. Clint’s face was definitely a lot paler than it used to be, and it had deeper wrinkles. Sam’s face was shallower. The stress and time put in looking for Natasha was showing. Laura, who was usually dealing with kids, had more grey hands than when Bucky first met her. She didn’t seem that old to have so many, but he knew that it was the result of worrying over her friends, husband, and children along with her whole life being uprooted. The children, thankfully were well-rested and unburdened from the stress and weight from the investigation. Yes they were worried about their aunt, but it didn’t constantly plague their minds 24/7. 

 

“I think we all do.” Steve sighed. 

 

A cloud darkened the once light mood.  _ Goddammit Bucky. You just had to ruin it. Imagine them when you tell them. Or Steve. Should I tell them all at once, or just Steve and hope that he tells them while I never come out of my room again when I’m hiding in shame. Since they’re all here right now, wouldn’t it make more sense to tell them all now. Yes it would, Barnes. Yes it would. Now, how do I go about this. _

 

Thankfully, Sam indirectly helped lead into the conversation. “So, what brings you out of your room, Barnes. Besides the fact there’s food because you usually come in afterwards to heat up the leftovers anyway?”

 

“Can’t the man just come to socialize Sam,” Laura laughed. “You’re always giving him a hard time.”

 

“You got that right,” Clint agreed.

 

“Umm… well I came to tell y’all something,” Bucky said nervously.  _ Okay, here it goes. Breathe Barnes, breathe. _

 

“Tell us what?” Steve asked curiously.

 

“Before I tell you, all of y’all must promise not to get too mad.”

 

“Why would be mad?” asked Laura.

 

“Just promise me.”

 

They all nodded in agreement.

 

Bucky took a deep breath before speaking. “It’s about Natasha.”

 

The table fell silent. Anytime someone mentioned her, everyone tensed. The team still hadn’t found any leads on her. The situation seemed to be hopeless. Natasha wasn’t one to just slip up and reveal a clue to her location. If she didn’t want to be found they weren’t going to find her. Ever.

 

“What about Natasha?” Clint whispered.

 

“I know her.”

 

“Well yeah, she was the one that let you and Steve go at the airport. And the redhead you shot in DC,” Sam said. He was a little confused on why Bucky was bringing this up at the moment.

 

“Also the same redhead you shot in Odessa and choke-slammed onto a table in Vienna,” Clint added. “Well the Winter Soldier did that.” 

 

Clint was the won who found her barely alive at the bottom of a cliff with a pool of blood around her body. She had been like that for hours. SHIELD medical didn’t think that she would survive, but she did. And she has the scar to remind her of it. That mission forever traumatized Clint, having his partner almost die on him. It was worse because it was a solo mission and he couldn’t have her back. He felt as if he had really failed her.

 

Bucky’s whole body quickly tensed, before the soft touch of Laura’s hand allowed him to relax. She looked at him with understanding eyes that were pleading with him to continue on with what he was trying to tell them.

 

“No, before Odessa. I know her from the Red Room. I trained her.”

 

“Buck that’s impossible. You were in cryo-freeze during the time she was at the Red Room except for when you were with the other Winter Soldiers,” Steve said in disbelief. “I remember it was in your file. There’s no way you could have trained her at that time.”

 

“I trained her years before I met the other Winter Soldiers. Decades before.”  _ I knew that this was gonna be difficult. _

 

“Impossible, Nat was born in 1984. You met the Winter Soldiers in 1991, 1992 time frame. That’s not even a full decade,” Clint said. Or at least, that’s what she told SHIELD.

 

“When did you apparently ‘meet’ her?” Sam asked. 

 

“1951, she was twenty-three years-old. I was on loan from HYDRA to train her and a few other girls before the one with the top scores in the class graduated.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You telling me that Nat’s like an old lady. From 1951. That was born in like the twenties. You’re bluffing.” Sam said unconvinced. He didn’t believe a word Bucky said. It didn’t make sense to him. “How come she looks so young?”

“Because-”

 

“She has a serum,” Clint said calmly.

 

“Yeah, what he said,” Bucky

 

“How do you know?” Steve asked.

 

“Same reason why I know you and Bucky have a serum. Blood tests. They’re mandatory with SHIELD,” explained Clint. “As soon as Fury saw it, he had the scientists cover it up to keep her safe. That automatically made him second guess the birth date she gave him. So Bucky’s story is actually kinda adding up.”

 

“Why doesn’t she remember?” Laura asked.

 

“They wiped her as punishment.”

 

“Punishment for what?” said Steve.

  
_ Please understand. _ Bucky bowed his head.  “Punishment for loving me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hey guys, it's been a while. So here's an update. Thanks for reading. Your reviews really keep me going. I'm excited for Ant-Man and the Wasp, Incredibles 2, and Jurassic World 2. Can't wait to cry and shit when Marvel gives us the title for Avengers 4. And can't wait for my Captain Marvel trailer. Anyway, goodnight!


	10. And Her Lover Breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is crushed by the pressure and comes to a conclusion about Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my! Some notes at the beginning! She must want something! Yeah, I'm just telling y'all to check out my tumblr if you feel like it. See my interests. It's just tvLifeGirl12. Anyway enjoy!

 

**Bucky’s POV**

* * *

 

 

No one said a word for what felt like hours. Their brains were still trying to process the words that just came out of Bucky’s mouth

 

“Um, excuse me what?” Clint said in disbelief. “She not only knew you, but she loved you. Why are just telling us now? You could’ve helped us get clues to find her.”

 

“Because I didn’t know how to tell you,” Bucky said.  _ This is not what I need right now. _

 

“That’s not an excuse,” Clint spat. Laura kicked him under the table to get him to shut up before he said something he would regret.

 

“It’s been three months Bucky. Three months since we started looking for her,” Sam chided. “I agree with Clint. That’s not a good excuse to use.”

 

“Clint, Sam eno-” Steve said calmly.

 

“What am I supposed to say!” Bucky snapped, interrupting his friend.  _ I am so done with this. See this why I didn’t want to tell you.  _ “Oh me and your friend Natasha used to bang in the fifties while we were brainwashed super-soldier assassins. Well until they wiped us because they found out she was pregnant with my baby.”

 

Clint’s eyes almost fell out of his head they were stretched so wide. Laura’s heart stop. She knew how much Natasha treasured her children because she couldn’t have her own. How a part of her was a saddened by the fact that it was going to be a Nathaniel instead of a Natasha even though she loved her little nephew so much. Sam’s brain was overflowing with thoughts on how it happened and what happened to the baby. Steve couldn’t even think for a second. Couldn’t speak either. He felt like Bucky just dropped a bomb of information on them all.

 

“You know what they did to her. They beat her. They got some of the other agents to beat her until our baby died. They bound and blindfolded her so she couldn’t defend herself,” The pain and anger in his voice scared his friends. The Barton children were even aware of the situation. The sound of Bucky’s yelling snapping them out of their own conversation. 

 

“They made me watch. And afterwards, they wiped us,” Bucky’s voice broke, as tears began to stream down his face. 

 

Bucky got up from the table and began to walk away. He didn’t get very far before he felt a soft hand touch his shoulder. He turned around to see that it was Laura. She engulfed him in a giant hug. Bucky stood there not knowing to do for a second. Then it was like a switch flipped and he broke. He began to sob on Laura’s shoulder. His legs gave out from under him bringing him to his knees. Yet Laura still held on to him. She didn’t understand but at the same time, she did. Steve rubbed his back, trying to soothe him like a mother would do to her crying baby. Sam and Clint ushered the kids out of the room and put on a movie for them to watch while they stayed with Bucky. They stood to the sides of the three with tissues and water bottles for them to use once they were done. 

 

Each sob racked through his body, causing both him and Laura to tremble. He didn’t realize it at the time, but she had silent tears on her face from the worry for him and the situation with Natasha. The searching and the information from today was too much for the both of them. The fact that Natasha once had a chance to have a child after the confession that she couldn’t all those years ago broke her heart. Especially with all the time that she had spent with hers as Auntie Nat.

Steve hated seeing his friend like this, so sad and broken. He gave Sam and Clint a hard stare which filled both with guilt. He knew that they didn’t mean to push Bucky over the edge, but it was still partly their fault. The difference between him and them is that his brain was still processing everything. Theirs were done and had reached a conclusion, which ended in a blame game. Steve as happy that Laura was able to have a reasonable conclusion and comfort Bucky instead of immediately bashing him.

 

Clint was distraught over the fact that there might be information to help his missing friend that was right in front of him the whole time. Pressuring Bucky had been a mistake, and he knew that now. The guilt piled on top of him after seeing the consequences. He was blind to the situation, and it didn’t help that Bucky’s explanation fell on deaf ears. Clint only saw his anger instead of attempting to sympathize. Unlike himself, Laura was understanding. It was like her superpower. She did it often with the him, the kids, and Natasha. That’s what made it so easy to tell her things.

 

Sam was seriously confused. His confusion led to frustration. Which led to anger. Which led to an outburst that helped a grown-man full on ugly-cry. As much as he and Bucky didn’t get along, he didn’t mean to push him so far. And he knew that he would rather him stay away from him. So even though this was in his expertise as a former counselor for the VA, Sam left Laura and Steve to take care of it. He would be here with the tissues afterwards.

 

Bucky’s sobs slowly grew farther and farther apart before there were more tears than cries. His grip on Laura loosened allow her to sit back from the hold. She smiled at him through her tears.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” Bucky blabbered.  _ This is awkward. It’s not helping Clint’s standing next to me. _

 

“No sorrys,” Laura said. “It’s fine. We all needed it.”

 

“Okay,” Bucky said timidly, as if he was a lost child. 

 

Steve pulled him and Laura to their feet. He placed his hand on his shoulder to let him know that he was there for him. Sam handed him a tissue and nodded apologetically. Bucky wasn’t haven’t it though.

 

“I want to hear you say it.”

 

Sam rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’m sorry.”

 

“Like you mean it.”

 

“I’m sorry I made you cry,” Sam said defeated.

 

“You too Clint.”

 

“Sorry man. I shouldn’t’ve pressed your buttons,” Clint said. 

 

He handed Bucky a bottle of water, which quickly disappeared down the man’s throat. He gave him a thumbs up as a thank you. Clint gave Laura the other bottle who took a few swigs from it  before dumping the rest on his head. The others began to laugh at Clint whose head was now dripping wet.

 

“That’s what you get, Honey,” Laura said in between the laughs.

 

“Haha really funny,” Clint murmured. “Karma’s a real bitch.”

 

They all laughed, lightening the dark mood there was before. It was just what they all needed to get them going again.

 

“What now?” Sam asked. That was the big question. They have a load of information about Natasha, now what are they going to do with it.

 

“We can start back if Bucky’s up to it right now,” Steve said. “And only if you’re up to it.”

 

_ Well to be honest, I don’t really feel like starting now, but someone’s life could be resting in my hands. See of not for that, I would go back to my room and stay there for the rest of the day. But I can’t, so I’m up for it I guess. _

 

“Yeah, we can start.”

 

Clint and Steve left to get their laptops, leaving Bucky, Laura, and Sam alone in the room. 

 

“What do you have so far?” Bucky asked.

 

“Her last known location was Amsterdam. We think she’s somewhere in the Eurasia area,” Sam said. He and Laura already had brought their laptops to breakfast knowing that they’d be working afterwards. “And she’s Russian and her name’s Natasha Romanoff.”

 

“So not much to go by.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“There’s like no trace of her,” Laura added. “It’s like she dropped off the face of the Earth.”

 

“That’s Natasha for you,” Clint chuckled. Steve walked in behind him. They plopped down in the chairs. “Always disappearing and reappearing. She’s like a ghost pretty much.”

 

“So nothing since Amsterdam.”

 

“Nope. And we still think that it was someone else for that, ‘cause that’s not Tasha,” said Clint. “She wouldn’t do it unless she didn’t have a choice.”

 

_ Choice. Choice. Choice. CHOICE! She didn’t have one because she wasn’t there. Well her body was but she physically wasn’t. The Red Room, before they wiped her, there was a book. A book with a red hourglass on it. It was like mine, but the colors were inverted. Words. It had trigger words. Words that could change a person’s persona in an instant when they had the right locks in their brain. It would explain why she did it. It wasn’t her. Well it was her, but not in the right mind. That was it. _

 

“That’s because she didn’t have a choice,” Bucky said.

 

“How do you know?” Sam asked.

 

“Me and Natasha, we were programmed the same way. Similar fighting styles and mannerisms. We also have our own books.”

“Books?” Laura said puzzled. “What books.”

 

“Books with programming. Books with trigger words.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so this chapter is short. And it's a bit of meh, like it's okay. I have like three to four more chapters from different views. Thanks for the reviews, I love reading them. Goodnight people, it's almost 2 in the morning and I'm tired.


	11. Some News For A Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets a tip on Natasha's whereabouts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I took so long to update. My laptop has been acting retarded lately and I didn't feel like constantly having to shut it down after it froze. You have my sincerest apologies. Enjoy!

**Tony's POV**

* * *

"Hey can you take a break from finding Natasha to help me choose a wedding venue for next year?" Pepper asked. She had silently entered Tony's lab to find him engrossed in one of the many computers there.

"Nope. Maybe later." He said never taking his eyes off the screen. It had been eight months since he started the search. And he had gotten nowhere. It was as if Natasha had disappeared into thin air and ceased to exist.

"How about now, and then I'll go away for the moment," she said sternly. Her CEO side was coming out.

Tony turned around and sighed. "I'm busy Pep."

"Busy doing what? Following a case with nothing but dead ends."

"Yep."

"Fine, I'll let Peter choose," Pepper said mischievously. She acted as she was going to leave before Tony frantically pulled her back.

"No please do not let the kid choose our wedding venue," Tony stammered. "Whatever you do, don't let him choose."

He took the Stark-pad out of his fiance's hands and scrolled down the list of options for the venues. He quickly came to the conclusion of having it at the in Italy. "The one in Italy."

"There are two in Italy, be more specific." She took the Stark-Pad back to see which one he was talking about.

"The Castle Magma, Magna, Magu…"

"The Castle Mago Estate."

"Yes that one. I like that one."

"Sure you do." Pepper planted a quick kiss on his lips before turning to leave.

"Love you!" Tony called.

"I know."

Tony went back to his work and finding Natasha. So far, he had crossed off the places she wasn't like anywhere on the North or South American continents. He figured that she was still in the Eastern Hemisphere judging by the fact it was less risky and easier to lay low in a larger area. And contacts in most of the countries there haven't had any buzz on her there. Natasha also wasn't in the Netherlands, because she wasn't stupid or reckless enough to stay in a country that had a €850,000 bounty on her head.

Ross and the UN were becoming very impatient with the lack of results Tony had acquired from the last eight months. They knew that every day that went by it was becoming more and more likely that Natasha wouldn't be found. A lot more resources were being used to find her more than the other Avengers. Tony was tempted to call Steve to see if he was conducting an investigation of his own, but a spark of anger always held him back.

He was at a point where he would take any news or rumor about Natasha and study it. With no leads, desperate times called for desperate measures. Forums of his own were running on the dark web, taking anything and everything in to be processed that could be connected to her. Yet nothing was working. Tony was a little bit past the starting point, but nothing more.

At the moment, Tony was reading over a small journal Natasha had left behind at the compound before going on the run. Well he was listening to F.R.I.D.A.Y. read it as she translated it to English from Russian. Scanning for answers on every line, for some kind of sign for him to draw clues from. So far, he knew the locations of five of her safehouses in the state of New York and snippets on subjects such as himself and some of his current and former teammates and places and events that apparently happened in her life.  _Never would take you for one who would like poetry, Red._

_ Red _

_Like my hair_

_Not anymore according to CNN and your former employer. Blonde now. I would love to see you with that color. Always seen you with red. Though I would have to give you a new nickname._

_And the blood on my hands._

_Don't we all have blood on our hands in one way or another. I mean you with your past, me with my weapons. Everyone's got skeletons in their closet._

_Forever stained_

_People can change and the good deeds can outnumber the bads eventually I gue-_

F.R.I.D.A.Y. suddenly interrupted herself and Tony's train of thought. "Sir it appears you have another message from an unknown account on one of your forums concerning Ms. Romanoff."

"Pull it up for me FRIDAY."

The layout of the holographic screen changed as she went to the forum and opened the message for Tony to read. The username was unavailable for him to see, so he had FRIDAY try and run the IP address to track it. There was a short message on the screen.

_Dear Mr. Stark,_

_I know where your red-headed friend is. The coordinates of her location is below. Meet her there on January, 27, alone. Tell no one. If you break my rules, there will be consequences. I have many resources to stage a little, your fiance, and your friend. I'll be waiting._

_Toto_   _68.922391 Latitude, 125.62756 Longitude_

_I know this person did not just threaten to kill Pepper. It's obviously not Natasha even though she became a deadly arsonist. She's not dumb. Besides Pepper is her friend, she wouldn't hurt her. She's not Steve. But at the same time she may have changed from the person I thought I knew from eight months ago. New year new me kinda thing._

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, check those coordinates and show me where they are," Tony ordered. A gut feeling was telling him that it was a true source and to follow it, yet he still had a bad feeling.

"According to these coordinates Ms. Romanoff is in the Siberian wilderness."

"Siberia? Okay why would she be there?" he asked slightly frustrated with the location.  _Yay my favorite place in the whole world. It just seems to be teaming with backstabbing teammates. The freezing cold in the middle of winter_   _there is nice too._

"I mean it's the middle of winter there-," Tony added. "Unless there's a secret facility there. F.R.I.D.A.Y. check satellite images for any buildings nearby."  _I mean I know she's from Russia and all, but I don't think she's that resistant to the cold._

"Done Sir. Right on the coordinate site."

The satellite image zoomed in to reveal the roof of a rotting cottage covered by snow.

Tony's face scrunched up in confusion. "You sure FRIDAY? All I see is a dirty shitpost of what remains of a house covered by snow."

"I'm absolutely sure sir."

He paused. "Well, lets suit up then."

"Do you want to use the new prototype?"

"No just give me a Mark for now. I mean either she's there or she's not," pieces of the suit began to fly towards him, assembling together to form it. "Regardless, it's an easy mission. Open the hatch will you."

The doors on top of the lab ceiling parted, allowing Tony to fly out of the building with ease. Once he was a few hundred feet high up in the air, the doors closed behind him. The Avengers Facility quickly disappeared behind him. The suit promptly shifted into stealth mode, making him invisible to eyes above and below.

"How long is the flight FRIDAY?"

"About eleven hours if you are going at top speed while conserving enough energy to be utilized in a short skirmish and the flight home. That means you will be arriving at your destination at 2:07 AM on January 27."

"Good. Can you maybe put everything from the last hour in an encrypted file that can only be opened by yours truly and bury it. Don't tell anyone. I mean it. No Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, and Peter, about this until after a four day period or I lose contact with you, okay. Tell Ross and the UN that I'm on a vacay if they call. And send all my calls automatically to voicemail."

"Done sir."

"And play a movie. The Hunger Games. Whole series. No credits. Let's make this go by faster."

The screen opened to the familiar music of the intro of the first film, as Tony breezed past the rooftops of the buildings in the heart of NYC. "Thanks. Let me know when we get to Russia."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who decided to update at like two-thirty in the morning again! This girl! Yeah I've been getting a lot of update messages, so I guess I needed to update. I know you're like this is a short chapter, but guess what! I'm updating later today! (like when I wake up). So don't panic. Anyway, have a goodnight and stay tuned for the


	12. The Self-Appointed Welcoming Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony runs into some assassins at the cottage.

**Tony's POV**

* * *

It had been almost seven hours since Tony left the states in search for Natasha. As time went on and he passed through different time zones, later and later. At this point, by the time he got there it would be well into the night. He was just starting Mockingjay Part 2 when FRIDAY announced that he had entered Russian airspace.

"How much longer before I get to the cottage, FRIDAY?" Tony asked.

"About four hours and fifteen minutes, Sir."

"Okay, so after this movie we'll be like two hours out. I'll help you find the place afterwards."

The movie seemed to end faster than the first three. It was as if time itself knew that times were desperate and made the two hours and twenty minutes go by more quickly. Tony flew past the darkened streets and buildings that were solely illuminated by light posts, and the lights shining through the windows. The light bounced off the snow on the ground creating a mystical effect over the vast country. Even Tony couldn't help to be distracted by the country's beauty. He quickly shook off his awe.  _Guess I need to come back and visit some time._

Roads and houses eventually traded themselves in for vast boreal forests filled with pine and spruce trees. The forest seemed to be endless. Every so often a small village would interrupt the wood. Tony was tempted to stop in one for the night, but he didn't want to get off schedule. The snow began to fall harder than before. It clouded the suit's vision, making it hard to see anything more than a few yards ahead. This forced Tony to fully rely on the GPS to guide him to the house. It also made it easier for him to pass over it and get lost in the Siberian wilderness.

"Sir you are within a ten mile radius of the cottage."

"Thanks FRIDAY."

It took about four minutes until he saw that he had arrived at the location point evidenced by the GPS. And the late update by FRIDAY. Tony flew closer to the ground to make sure his landing spot wasn't the actual cottage. By the satellite evidence, the place wouldn't be able to take anymore weight on the rotting roof. He circled the area a few times before finally setting sights on the place. It looked worse in person. The roof was collapsing under the weight of the snow piled on top of it. The wood was covered in mold spores, and the stone was cracking due to the weight it was carrying. Most of the windows were either cracked or shattered. It looked abandoned.  _I really hope this is one of her bazillion safehouses. Cause this is a real downgrade. And I may have just flown out here for nothing._

"FRIDAY, check for heat signatures inside," Tony said, landing in the snow.

"I found one heat signature inside, but the body temperature is lower than normal."

"Are they alive?" Tony cautiously approached the house, getting more nervous with each step he took.  _What she's hypothermic. Starving. Dead. It's so quiet out here. Besides the wind._

"Yes. Sir I advise that you don't enter with your suit on. The weight can't be sustained by the floorboards of the cottage, for they are elevated from the ground which could lead you to fall through into the cellar."

"Um, I hope you realize I only have two layers of t-shirts, some jeans, and a pair of sneakers right. None of that is going to keep me warm."

"You have exactly twenty-three minutes until you become severely hypothermic in the current outfit you have on now."

"Not helping," he muttered.

"You should've brought a coat then."

"Thanks I didn't realize that," Tony said sarcastically, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Let me out of the suit then."

The suit opened allowing him to step out into the cold and snow.  _Natasha you are so not going to hear the end of this if I freeze to death._ He trudged through the snow, up to the door and prepared to knock, but the wind just blew the door open allowing him to step inside. The cottage's temperature was practically the same as the one outside, dousing Tony's hopes of a slightly warmer space.  _Why can I still see my breath when I'm in the actual place._  Tony looked around the entryway of the cottage. Inside there was small a kitchen on his left that looked like it hadn't be used in years. There was a little table with two chairs in the kitchen covered in dust and rust. On his right there was a raggedy vintage sofa in between two doors. He entered the first door to find a bathroom swarming with cockroaches. He quickly slammed the door.  _That's a serious health code violation._

He opened the other door to find a small bedroom. There was a metal barred bed with an old, smelly mattress on it. A bed table was next to the bed with an old picture frame. Naturally, Tony picked it up to take a look it at out of curiosity. It was a close up of a young couple on their wedding day. The groom had red hair and piercing blue eyes. An array of freckles was splayed across his nose. His bride also had red hair, but her eyes were green. She was giving him a playful kiss on his cheek. At first Tony didn't think anything of it. Naturally, he assumed that the house used to be theirs a long time ago. The bride seemed eerily familiar to him. The red hair and the green eyes. Then something clicked in Tony's mind. He knew those eyes anywhere. He almost dropped the picture in surprise.  _Natasha._

"I guess you like the photo," a sultry voice said.

Tony put the picture down and turned around, so he could locate the source of the voice. He found a woman standing in the corner. She was blanketed in shadow, masking most of her features besides her silhouette. A silver glint rested on her hip.  _Great she has a knife._ She walked towards Stark who menacingly held out his hand as a warning to summon his suit.

"Yeah, first of all I, um, need you to stay where you are," Tony said warily.  _I'm starting to think this is a setup. And this woman could kill me._  "Second of all you're not Natasha. Third thing, yeah, it is a nice picture. Red owes me an explanation. And last thing, you have about ten seconds to explain yourself before things get ugly."

"Your suit's not coming," she sneered.

"That's what you think," he muttered under his breath. "C'mon. Hurry up FRIDAY."

The woman held up her fingers. Every moment, one went down as she mouthed the names of numbers. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Tony heard an explosion from outside.

The familiar colors of fire and smoke were all that he could see outside of the shattered window pane.

"You just blew up my suit," Tony gaped.  _Oh shit, I'm screwed. Well FRIDAY can tell Pepper now._

"Technically, they blew up your suit."

Two more people entered the room. They were smaller than the woman, child sized really, but Tony deduced that they were most likely just as deadly.  _Yeah, I'm definitely screwed at this point._

"Who are you people?"

"Some friends of Natasha's," said the woman from the corner.

"Natasha sent me quite the welcoming party," Tony said sarcastically.

"She didn't send us," the woman assured him. "We came by ourselves. Who do you think responded to your little search online, hmm?"

"What do you want?"

"You."

One of the smaller people threw a punch at him, which he quickly dodged. He wasn't so lucky the second time. The hit knocked him to the ground, allowing the older woman to pin him to the ground. She held his arm behind his back, sending a coursing pain through his right side.

"Nighty, night, Stark."

Tony felt the sadly common feeling of a prick in his neck from a needle. He knew that darkness was about to follow. No one at the moment knew where he was. And he had no idea where he was going. He was officially off the clock at the moment in the UN's eyes. Their resources weren't going to be burned through to save his sorry, disobedient ass. Right now he needed to focus on himself in this situation and not Ross and the UN. His body was becoming number and number as he struggled to keep his eyes open. He could feel a heavy weight on his back and cold metal around his wrists. Then he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is update number two of day! Yay! Enjoy!!


	13. Her Unknowing Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia comes out of cryo-freeze for a new mission.

 

**Natalia’s POV**

 

A group of people stood outside a cryogenic chamber. It consisted of scientists and doctors along with an agent or two. The Headmistress, also known as Madame B, was present too. They all were preparing to defrost their top agent, Natalia Romanova in preparation for a highly-confidential mission. She had been in cryo-freeze for two months, waiting for her next assignment while in a cold slumber. Now it was time.

 

“She’s ready,” one of the scientists shouted.

 

Agents lined up and drew their weapons towards the chamber as a precaution for the common outbursts that most of the assets had upon waking up. They were using stun guns that were set on a low setting eliminating the factor of immediate death if they had to use it on someone. A scientist pushed some of the control buttons on the panel to unlock the pod. The whirring of the machinery drew the attention of everyone as they watched to doors slide down to allow a full view of the assassin. Strands of her blonde hair fell over her face, hiding her peaceful expression. Her pale skin seemed to match the shade of her long locks.

 

Two agents lifted her out of the chamber and set her in a chair. They strapped her wrists and legs down to it to prevent her from moving. One reached to move her hair out of her face, but jumped back startled by Natalia’s eyes suddenly popping open to reveal her empty green orbs. Headmistress gave the agent a disapproving look. She approached Natalia with caution, knowing that she was most likely unaware of the situation and could attempt to lash out.

 

“What is your name?” Headmistress asked sternly.

 

Natalia avoided her gaze and didn’t say anything.

 

“Must I ask you again, what is your name?”

 

She looked Headmistress dead in the eye, yet she still didn’t say a word. 

 

“I know you can hear me. Don’t play dumb.”

 

Natalia just blinked. Headmistress had enough of her games and struck her across the face with her hand. A red handprint appeared on Natalia’s face.

 

Headmistress sighed. “Since you don’t seem to be able to answer on your own, maybe you’ll cooperate after a small wipe.” 

 

She gestured for the scientists to hook her up to the machine around her. The scientists gave Natalia the mouthpiece for her to bite down on, so she didn’t grind her teeth or scream as loud. She accepted it without much of  a fight, knowing the routine she used to have to go through. She leaned back in the chair as the electrical prods lowered around her head. The machine was turned on and Natalia felt the electrical currents pulse through her body. She screamed and writhed in pain at every jolt. Every so often, Headmistress would ask for name. Her questions were responded with silence. Then the shocks would begin again. This went for about an hour before Headmistress called for a stop. Once again, she asked Natalia a single question.

 

“What is your name?”

 

She hesitated. Paused to think for a moment. It was like as if the thought had been pushed to the back of her mind. “Natalia Romanova,” she said slowly. “The Black Widow.”

 

“Who do you work for?”

 

“The Red Room.”

 

“Who am I?”

 

“Headmistress.”

 

“Do you remember anything else?” 

 

“Only my training.”

 

Her mind was too much of a swampy mess for her to remember anything else. Trigger words, cryofreeze, and brainwashing does that to a person. It leaves the brain to numb for individuality to hold on to. It craves for someone to lead it other than its host.

 

“What is my mission?” she asked icily.

 

Headmistress gave the group a look to let them know that it was time for them to leave the room as she debriefed the agent. Everyone scattered, leaving the two alone in the room.

 

“We have a hostage here named Tony Stark. He’s a famous billionaire and genius from America. He’s part of the so-called superhero team, the Avengers. I need you to impersonate his teammate, Natasha Romanoff to get information from him about his work. While under this cover, you are subject to pain from your fellow agents as a way to break him.”

 

“Who is Natasha Romanoff?”

 

“She’s almost like you, except weaker. She has attachments and loves which holds back her potential. She hesitates before she kills certain targets. Natasha Romanoff is soft.”

 

“What do I need to do?”

 

“I need you to act as if you’ve been held hostage here for months. While you’ve been here, you have for gone countless torture sessions and experiments, leaving you in a catatonic state,” Headmistress informed her. “Stark will most likely fall for the ploy and tell you information he has on particular subjects. We’ll come retrieve you twice a week for data debriefings. Any questions?”

 

“What happens when he is no longer of use?”

 

Headmistress scoffed. “Like any other prisoner. He dies.”

 

Natalia smiled deviously. “When do I start?”

 

“Now.” 

 

She walked over to a wall panel and pressed the call button to alert the agents and scientists outside. The doors to the room opened for them to enter. They stood behind Headmistress, waiting for her to step aside before they could prepare Natalia for her mission. Headmistress moved out their way and observed them from afar. One of them began to unfasten the restraints on Natalia’s arms and legs while others prepped drugs to help make the catatonia more believable and easier to pull off. Needle pricks and IV lines were barely felt by her numb body. The hustle and bustle began to fade away as she slipped far into her mind, patiently waiting for the time to slip into Natasha. Contrary to Headmistress’ belief, she had a small inkling about who Natasha Romanoff was. 

 

_ Russian. Assassin. Spy. Avenger. She used to be me once upon a time. She was too weak to live. She cared too much. Relied on others. I don’t know how she came to be. All I know is that she’s gone. The Red Room made sure of it. There was no use of her. Her loyalties were constantly switching, making it impossible for her to have stable relationships. But none of that matters now. All that matters is that Natasha Romanoff is dead. There is only Natalia now. And she’s not going anywhere. _

 

“It’s time to go Natalia,” Headmistress said. 

 

She attempted to answer her but found that not a sound could be uttered out of her mouth. Nor could she move any of her limbs besides a few twitches and nods here and there. Headmistress noticed her dilemma and answered the question that Natalia was asking her inside her head.

 

“The drug we gave you limits your muscle movement, making it so that you can’t talk or move much. It wears off every three to four days, which coordinates with the debriefings. Makes you almost truly catatonic. I’ll see you in a few days… Natasha.”

 

Natalia felt herself be hoisted up by two of the agents. Her arms rested on each of their shoulders as they led her out of the room. She was carried down the hallway to a set of doors leading to a stairway. The two agents became one as the one passed her on to the other. She was draped over his shoulder as he walked down the stairs to another hallway. This hall unlike the one she was on before, had cells. It was more populated than normal since it was the current residence to many prisoners. 

 

At the end of the hall, there was a cell with more guards posted at it than the others. Natalia presumed it contained Tony Stark. It was a precaution in case he used his intellect to formulate a plan to escape and her presence in the room needed to be monitored. Her suspicions were proven correct as the agent carrying her walked down to the end of the hall. The guards posted there nodded at the agent and opened the cell door. A switch happened in Natalia’s brain as soon as the door unlocked.  _ You are no longer Natalia. You are Natasha Romanoff. Catatonic Natasha Romanoff.  _ The room inside was small and grey and brightly lit. In the corner, there was a man with curious brown, doe-like eyes. He gazed earnestly at the guard and the blonde woman over his shoulder. The guard gave him a menacing look before dropping Natalia on the ground in front of him. Her body took full force of the drop since she was unable to brace herself for the landing. She heard the door close behind him.

 

A shuffling of feet approached her. Even with her back facing towards him, she knew who it was. Before she knew it, Tony Stark had turned her body to face him. Worried brown eyes met her empty green ones. His face was full of pity and concern. 

 

“Natasha what’s going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE MOFO's! Surprise update! Three chapters in one day! And now I'm done. Duces.


	14. The Inventor and the Spy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony talks to Natasha.

**Tony’s POV**

* * *

 

 

A few hours after being knocked out, Tony finally came to in a small, bright, grey room. He sat up, confused about where he was. Foggy memories were slowly coming back to him. He remembered going to look for Natasha in the middle of the Siberian wilderness and arriving at the rundown cottage. It was cold then. He was warm now. There was a wedding picture with Natasha and a red-haired man. Then he was attacked by some assassins or spies, whatever they are. 

 

Now he was here. Trapped in a small cell with a heavy, metal door being held hostage for who knows why and no idea of the amount of time he’d been there.  _ Pepper and Rhodey are going to kill me if I get out of here. Hell, Ross and the UN are going to kill me if I get out. Sneaking off onto an unauthorized mission that no one knew about. Getting captured on the very same mission he wasn’t supposed to be on. Government money wasted on trying to find him, well most likely his money. All for a lead on a missing, double-crossing, a-hole of a Russian. _

 

The eerie silence of the cell unnerved Tony. The only sounds he could hear were the muffled footsteps of people constantly walking past his room. Listening to the people walk by was his only social interaction for a while. No one had stopped to come into his room to talk to him. Nobody had opened the door to collect him for an intense interrogation. He’d just been left alone, all by himself in a small, grey room. Sitting in the corner, engrossed in his thoughts.

 

_ Okay, so by now, FRIDAY should have told Pepper and the gang that I was MIA. And they know my last known location, which I have no idea how far I am away from, so that’s great. And not to mention my suit got destroyed, so even if I am close by, I can’t summon it. I shouldn’t’ve even come in the first place. I mean no backup, no resources. And now I’m locked in a cell in some facility in god-knows where of a place. Stupid me. Stupid Russia. Stupid Natasha. Stupid UN. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be here. If it weren’t for her I could be at home, at the facility, cozy and warm. But I’m not. I could really kill her right now. I mean this is mostly her fau- _

 

A series of clicks from a lock interrupted the silence. Tony’s head shot up to see who was about to enter. A large, burly guard came through the doorway. He had a blonde-haired woman over his shoulder. She appeared to be unconscious with the way her body was limply draped over the man. Tony quickly figured out who it was. The hair was throwing him a bit off, but he knew that the woman was Natasha. It suddenly made sense to him now.  _ The chicks at the cottage had said something about coming on their own. And setting up the account on the web. It was all a ploy to get me. They find Natasha. Use her as bait. I stroll up. They kidnap and hold me hostage in a cell, so they can use me for something. _

 

The guard dropped her on the ground. The dead-weight hit the ground with a thump. Tony’s body cringed at the sound of flesh and bone hitting the hard concrete floor. He kept his eyes on Natasha, not even noticing the guard lock the door of the cell behind him. He crawled over to her still form, preparing for the worst. Much to his relief, she was breathing steadily. Tony turned her body so he could look for any injuries. To his surprise, he was met with some familiar green eyes whose glares he was constantly a victim to. He sighed in relief, knowing that she was conscious and seemed to be aware of her surroundings.

 

“Natasha, what’s going on,” he asked.

 

He was met with silence.

 

“Earth to Natasha. It’s me. Tony.”

 

Natasha stared at him. 

 

“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you talking? You usually would’ve said something snarky by now,” he said worriedly.  _ Something’s really wrong. _

 

She blinked. Her eyes, that were usually filled with life, seemed cold and distant. It unnerved him more than the silence there was before she came. At least then it was just him. With two people in the room and one as quiet as the dead, it creeped him out. Soft streams of tears began to trickle out of her eyes. For another one of the few times in his life, Tony was scared. He had rarely seen Natasha cry aside from a few instances in the seven years that he had known her. She always put on a brave face in front of the team. She seemed so, broken. 

 

_ What have they done to her? She’s practically unresponsive. That’s usually a characteristic associated with trauma. How long has she been here. Here alone with these people. Days. Weeks. Months. These people did something to her. Probably tortured her day in and day out. No one to talk to. No one to comfort her. All alone. I always assumed she was fine living on the low as a fugitive. She has so many connections to keep her going. Red’s capable of fighting off the bad guys on her own. She was always a bit of a lone-wolf even when everyone was together. When we split everyone still had friends to rely on. Everyone but her. It’s kinda funny how the person who fought the hardest to keep everyone together was the one who ended up apart. I can change that. I’m here now. _

 

Tony protectively cradled her head in his lap. He ran his fingers through her now blonde hair, in attempts to make up for what he and the others couldn’t do before. He began to have a one-sided conversation with her. He told her about Rhodey and Pepper and how they must be worried sick and doing everything they can to find him. He talked about how Rhodey was walking better with help from the leg braces he for him designed. And his and Pepper’s wedding planning. Tony went on for hours before eventually growing tired. Natasha had already fallen asleep towards the end of his tales. Tony soon joined her in a peaceful slumber.

 

They were awakened a few hours later by the familiar sound of the clicking of the lock of the cell door. A guard came in carrying a tray holding two styrofoam bowls and some plastic silverware. He set the bowls on the floor in front of Tony, along with two spoons for them to use.

“Eat,” the guard ordered them.

 

“Thanks,” Tony said coldly. He looked inside the bowls to see that there was borsch inside.

 

The guard turned to leave.

 

“Mr. Guard, I have a question,” Tony said. “I haven’t used the bathroom in the while. Do you know where I can go because I am not about to pee my pants today.”

 

The man left for a minute and came back with an old, dirty bucket. He set it down in the corner across from Tony. 

 

“This is your bathroom,” the guard said gruffly. “It will be collected once a week to be emptied. Try not to fill it up the first day.”

 

The guard left, and once again it was just the two Avengers. Tony eyed the bucket suspiciously as if something was going to jump out of it. He looked down at the woman in his lap, his eyes themselves telling her what he was about to do. She simply blinked before closing her eyes to give him some privacy. Tony gently moved her head from his lap to the floor, careful not to let it collide with the floor. Tony made his way to the bathroom bucket and quickly did his business. He sat back down next to Natasha and picked up his bowl of soup. He had a few spoonfuls before noticing Natasha hadn’t moved from her spot to get her food. Hell she hadn’t moved at all since she had been dropped off in the cell.

 

“Can you move?”

 

Natasha, as usual, blinked in response.

 

“Okay, I’m gonna take that as a no for large movements. We need a system so we can communicate better.”

 

Silence. 

 

“How about you use blinking? Blink once for yes, twice for no.”

 

She blinked once. (yes)

 

“Good. Okay, do you need to use the bathroom?”

 

One blink followed by a rolling of eyes. (yes)

 

_ Great. How are we gonna do this? _ “Yeah so this is gonna be awkward. I know Pepper will understand.”

Tony nervously and slowly began to pull Natasha’s pants down. He tried to look away to give her some decency. He was no Captain America, but at the same time, he wasn’t the same man he was before 2008. He may have been slightly attracted to her when she was working undercover, but he knew her now. They were like friends, kind of. Tony lifted her into his arms bridal style and carried her over to the bucket. He supported her arms while she relieved herself. Tony redressed her and propped her against the wall. He picked up the other bowl of soup and brought it towards her.

 

“Hungry?”

 

One blink. (yes)

 

Tony sighed. “I’m gonna have to spoon-feed you. This pains me as much as it pains you. Please don’t kill me once you can move again.”

 

A playful spark that appeared in her eye scared Tony a bit enough that he thought she might have actually considered it. 

 

He dipped the spoon into the borsch and held it up to Natasha. She slightly parted her lips enough to accommodate the utensil. She slowly drank the soup. While she ate, Tony told her about some projects he was working on. There was a new suit prototype that was made up of nanites which emerged from a new arc reactor type. Shuri, T’Challa’s sister helped him design it. The girl was extremely smart and put his own tech to shame. She also helped him improve Steve’s shield, so he could use it whenever the world needed the Avengers again. After feeding Natasha, Tony finished eating his own soup. He stacked the bowls and spoons in a pile by the door and resumed the position he and Natasha were in before they were interrupted by the guard.

 

The two sat in silence for a while, not knowing what to do with their newfound time. Tony didn’t want to fully annoy Natasha by talking to her the whole time, but he also needed to get information about the facility and on her. 

 

“Have you been here for a long time?” he asked.

 

(yes)

 

“More than two months?”

 

(yes)

 

“How about past four?”

 

(yes)

“Past six.”

 

(yes)

 

“Have you been here for five months?”

 

(no)

 

“Six?”

 

(yes)

 

_ Six months. That places her around August. Which was when she set that apartment complex on fire. _

 

“So after you committed grand arson,” he said coldly.

 

(yes)

 

He didn’t ask her anymore questions for the rest of the day. He had heard enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hey guys. I have a chapter today. Now I have to work on another chapter for you people. Bye.


	15. Her Screams Will Haunt Him Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is tortured to get Tony to give up information.

**Tony's POV**

* * *

Tony and Natasha went through the same routine for the next couple of days. They would eat, use the bathroom, and talk. Tony would ask her questions about the facility, like if they were in a basement or the location of the building itself. According to what he got from her, it was still in Russia somewhere, and they were being held under the main building. They were at the Red Room, the place where she was raised to become a spy/assassin. He wasn't sure if that made things easier or further complicated. That was mostly all she could get from her with his dwindling patience level. Yes and no questions were hard to use to get information off of.

Three days into his captivity, the cell door opened to reveal a few new sets of faces. Two of them were men and appeared to be guards. They were standing behind an old woman dressed in a blue pencil skirt and blazer. Her face was heavily wrinkled. If he wasn't under these circumstances, Tony would've believed her to be a sweet grandmother to someone aside from her stern facial expression. A scientist stood to her side, appearing to wilt under the presence of all the people in the small room.

"I hope you have been enjoying your stay Anthony," the old woman said smiling grimly.

"No I haven't. And I don't think my friend has either," he spat. "Who the hell are you, what did you do to her, and what do you want from me?"

"You can call me Headmistress. I am the head of the Red Room facility, the same place wher-"

"Natasha graduated from. Spy school. Yeah, I know. What did you do to her?" he growled. His patience was hanging by a thread.

Headmistress looked back at a guard behind her, giving him a signal. He stormed up to Tony and socked him in the eye, making his head hit the wall. For a few seconds, all he could see was stars. His eye was throbbing, and the pain from the wall wasn't helping.  _This is definitely going to bruise._

"Do not test me Stark, or the same thing that will happen to her will happen to you. Do I make myself clear?" she threatened.

Much to her delight, Tony kept his mouth shut.

"Take them to interrogation."

The guards roughly grabbed Tony's wrists and slipped him into some handcuffs. They tied a blindfold over his eyes, so he wouldn't be able to see the layout of the building. The other guard left to tend to Natasha, whom he hoisted over his shoulder. Tony was pulled to his feet and led out of the cell. The other guard and Natasha followed behind. They walked down several hallways for what felt like eternity before they arrived. Tony heard his cuffs be unlocked before he was pushed down into a cold metal chair. More metal was felt around his wrists and ankles as he was restrained to the seat. A bit more shuffling was heard before his blindfold was finally taken off. He observed the workings of the room. It was a lot larger than his cell and had guards posted everywhere. The walls were white instead of grey, along with the floors and doors. On the side he was on, there was a giant mirror looking into another room. The chair was set in front of it to give him a perfect view. The room Tony could see through the mirror looked a lot more lab-like. Inside, he could see Natasha strapped to a metal table surrounded by a lot of people in lab coats in addition to the number of guards. Headmistress stood in the corner of the room, preparing to begin the session. She approached the glass once she saw that Tony was fully restrained.

"Okay, Anthony, are you ready to have some fun?" she asked.

"This doesn't look fun."

"Maybe not for you, but everyone else seems to agree. If you want it to stop, you just have to give us some information."

"That's a no."

"Let's begin. What should we start with first Anthony, fire or water?"

"Neither."

"Water it is."

A guard brought over a woolen hood and several buckets filled to the brim with water over to the table. Tony's face twisted with horror as he realized what they were about to do, as he had once experienced the same torture before almost nine years prior in Afghanistan. His chest started to clench and his breathing slowed significantly. Tony knew he was about to have a panic attack.  _Not here. Not now. Gotta stay strong._  Taking deep breaths and calming himself down, he decided that instead he used his fear to fight for Natasha. He yelled and pulled against his restraints trying to break free, though knowing there was nothing he could do to help her. He wouldn't be able to take a step if he got free. The guards would take him down instantly. All he could do was watch as they pulled the hood over her head. Headmistress picked up the bucket and began to pour water onto the cloth. Because she couldn't move, Natasha was bucking or fighting for air. In one way it worked to her favor because she wouldn't use up her oxygen as quickly, but on the other hand, there was no way for her to escape. Tony tried to turn away, not bearing to watch his teammate die in front of him.

"Everytime you turn away, I will add more to this session for her, so I advise you to keep your eyes on her at all times," Headmistress said. "Unless you want more blood on your hands."

She adjusted the bucket to make more water pour out, showing that it wasn't just an empty threat. By the time she was done the bucket was empty. Tony feared that they had killed her. The bucket held five gallons of water which was emptied without a break. His fears came true when her chest was dead still. Headmistress noticed and quickly had the hood pulled from her head. Chest compressions were started immediately. Headmistress gave Tony a haunting smile as to say that her blood would be on his hands. A sputtering noise was heard behind her. Natasha was turned over to her side, spitting up water, as a doctor pounded on her back to help her lungs expel all the water. Tony sighed in relief. After a few minutes, Natasha seemed to get all of the water out of her lungs. Her breathing was still shallow, but it was definitely more steady.

Headmistress noticed that her breathing was more regulated, and decided to take advantage of the predicament to get Tony to give her information.

"Again."

"What!" Tony exploded angrily. "Didn't you just see her die on that table. She suffocated. Drowned. And you want to do it again?"

Even the doctors and scientists were at little wary at the statement of what she wanted to do.

"Headmistress, that is not a good idea considering what just happened. We need to wait a few hours to do it again," one of the doctors said boldly.

"Do it anyway."

"If we wan-"

Bam! A bullet from Headmistress' revolver found its way into the doctor's head. She crumpled to the ground in a heap. Two of the guards carried the body out of the room, leaving behind many shocked workers in their wake. Tony's eyes went wide at the sight of the cruelty shown towards the very people that worked at the facility.

"Let her be an example of what happens when you protest when your opinion has already been shot down," warned Headmistress. "Proceed with the session."

The hood was slipped back onto Natasha's head. Headmistress grabbed another bucket that was beside her. She prepared to go another round with the torture when she paused.

She looked Tony dead in the eyes. "Ready to answer some questions yet Stark?"

Tony hesitated.  _Natasha can't go through this again. She already had to be resuscitated the last time. But at the same time she'll never forgive me if I said anything. I could ask what they wanted to know. If it isn't anything major, I could let a few things slip. Enough for them to stop. Maybe they'll let us go. Or kill us. They could do that too. It's not like Natasha already has a death warrant out by the UN or anything because she decided to set fifty-something people on fire. I really should care less about her dying. I mean like I'm supposed to hate her like a normal person. I mean she betrayed me, set a bunch of people on fire, and led to me getting kidnapped in the middle of Siberia, the last place in the world that I wanted at, yet I still care for her._

"What do you want to know?"

"Specs on all of your current projects starting back from June of last year, whereabouts on the rogue Avengers, and the identity of the Spiderman."

 _Hell no._   _Not Peter._ "No. First of all I can't even answer one of those demands. I haven't had contact with the others since they went to the Raft. Second of all, you are not getting Spider-man's identity."

"Well then, Natasha will still go through the sessions."

"What if I give you information on some of the projects?"

"It's either all or nothing, Anthony."

"I'm sorry Natasha. I can't do that. I know you'll understand."  _I hope you understand._

The waterboarding resumed as it was before. This time, Headmistress only used half a bucket, being more careful not to kill her agent. Tony really wished he could look away this time. The guilt was too much for his heart and his mental state. After forever, he could see the hood be taken off of Natasha and water pour out of her mouth. He watched in hatred as Headmistress ran her fingers through her hair, soothing her as if she wasn't the one to torture her in the first place. Some of the guards took hood and the buckets away leading Tony to believe that the session was done. Instead the scientists started to prepare trays and syringes to use on a patient. Frustration set into Tony's mind as he watched different substances be intook into different syringes. It was like a rainbow. There was red, blue, green, and yellow liquid in each of them.

A doctor cleaned an area on her arm with a swab, before picking up one of the syringes. It was the blue one. Tony concernedly watched as the needle tip was inserted into Natasha's skin. The contents were emptied into her bloodstream and quickly reacted with her body. At first Tony didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Then he began to see little bulges under her skin. Her blood vessels seemed like they were trying to come out of her skin. It looked as if something was crawling inside of them. Natasha's eyes suddenly stretched opened wide. Her fingers began to twitch and rap the table. Then her body bucked against the metal. A blood curdling scream escaped her lips. It was the first time Tony had heard her use her voice since he'd been there. It was also the first time she voluntarily used her muscles besides blinking, swallowing, and using the bathroom. Hearing her scream made Tony fear for that she was actually about to die. Unbeknown to him, she had been through this before. But he did know that her screams would haunt him for the rest of his life. Eventually she stopped, and ended up passing out.

Headmistress walked over to the glass. Tony was tired of this woman. Everytime she opened her mouth, something bad happened to him or Natasha.

"You failed her," she said flatly.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Thanks for reminding me," he said sarcastically.

"She'll die here if you don't give us the information."

"Outside won't be much better if you have 177 different countries with a death warrant out on you, along with a pricey bounty because you set a run-down apartment building on fire which killed more the fifty people," he ranted. "Is that how you found her. On the run. Probably figured that she turned back to her old ways. But turns out she still wants nothing to do with this place so you imprison her. And then you get an idea to use her as bait to draw me in because you know that the UN is looking for her. So now you have two Avengers here to torture for information that you won't get."

"Anthony, you aren't leaving here alive with her, so that doesn't matter," Headmistress said. "Besides, it would be a shame to die for something you didn't even do."

"What?"

"I find it funny that both of the Russian agents you know were both framed in less than a span of three months. I mean think about it. Your Natasha is way too weak to commit an act like that."

With that she turned back to the woman on the table who was finally beginning to stir.

"Take him back to his cell."

Tony was speechless. His mouth tried to form words to say, but nothing came out. He felt the guards unlock the restraints on his chair, but was too numb to notice anything else. The blindfold seemed to be insignificant to him, just a small blimp in his way of life. Walking down the halls felt like muscle memory, even though he had only done it once.

_Oh God. Not again. This cannot be happening again. She shouldn't be in this mess. First Bucky, not that I like him now anyways, but now Nat. He should've known something was up. After the Leipzig his thoughts on her were too biased and clouded to make a reasonable decision on the matter. Nat's trying to clear her fucking ledger, Tony, not add to it. But it'll be okay. It's been like three, four days. They're looking for me. And when they find me, I can explain to them what happened. I can get Nat some help, and she can explain it more. Bring the Headmistress lady in. Interrogate her. She confesses, Natasha's partly off the hook._

He heard his cell door close behind him.

_Right_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Number Two Of The Day! yeah don't expect another chapter after this for today okay guys. Anyway thanks for reading. Love you guys. Check me out on Tumblr. Same account name and everything. Bye.


	16. He Knows That She's Long Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Natasha begin their escape.

**Tony's POV**

* * *

After a few weeks Tony eventually learned that the interrogations took place every few days. Some guards would come by and take Natasha before blindfolding him, so he couldn't see the route to the room. And everytime he would be forced to watch as they injected her with various mystery substances while she was strapped down to a table. The Headmistress would always ask him the same question. 'Who is the Spiderman?" And each time Tony refused to give up Peter's identity, even for the price of Natasha's well-being. The screams seemed to affect him less and less as time went on. The constant cries of pain was beginning to become routine for him much to his disgust.

Unbeknownst to him, Tony had been held hostage at the Red Room for quite some time now. More than two months had gone by since he was first brought in. It was now late March, and times were changing. As time passed, Natasha's absences became more and more frequent. And the more frequent they were, the longer they became. She'd disappear for days at a time on some instances. They'd bring Tony in for his two weekly interrogations, but those were the only times he would go with her. Eventually the frequencies bled together to where Tony only saw Natasha when he was brought in for the interrogation sessions. For the past few weeks, he's been alone in his cell with hardly any contact from anyone. They'd just left him alone with his thoughts. One would think that would be a mistake on the their part, leaving a man with an IQ of Tony's in solitary confinement. It leaves him time to think of an escape. There's nothing to distract him, no factors to hold him back.

But in reality, the Red Room made a killing play. By leaving a man like Tony in a small confined space by himself with nothing for his hands to fiddle with, it'll wear him down. Humans are social animals, some more social than others. Tony talks a lot. That's what he does. If he has no one to talk to, he'll build things. If both are taken away, an ever active brain won't know what to do with itself. The brain yearns for something to attach to, making it easier for others to pick it apart. It leaves the person numb. Their mind is filled with doubt as time loses its significance as it fades away.

Tony was currently sitting in the far corner of his cell. He didn't know it yet, but it was interrogation day. The days where everything just became shittier than the rest. It didn't matter to him whether he knew it or not. Stark was too far gone. His face was pale, his eyes glassy. No more of the spark in the inventor's eyes. He didn't even bother to look up when the cell door creaked open and slammed shut. Nor did his ears hear the soft steps coming towards him. But he did recognize the familiar voice of an old friend.

"Stark."

Tony looked up and was met with the green eyes of an old friend. Her hair was longer and he could see red roots. She looked properly nourished and healthy, devoid of any of the bruises and injuries she had attained from the last interrogation session. He gave her a grim smile.

"You can talk now. And stand," he said amused. "Move in general."

"I hadn't noticed," Natasha said cooly. "Can you walk?"

"Yeah." Tony replied. Natasha reached out her hand to pull him up. "Escaping?"

"What does it look like we're doing?," she asked.

They walked into the hallway where a horde of guards laid dead on the now red tile. "Stay behind me." She withdrew a gun from her holster and navigated through the bodies in the hall.

"Can I have a weapon too?" Tony asked.

"No, as long as you're with me you'll be fine. C'mon we've got to move."

Tony followed Natasha through the hallways, watching for potential attacks from guards. Surprisingly there were none to be found. There were a few stray bodies here and there, but no run-ins.  _Guess she took all of them out before she got me_. Natasha led him to a steel door. She typed in a code on the keypad next to the door. There was a click before she turned the knob to reveal a large room. Natasha walked right in, but Tony stood back at the doorway. Inside there were about twenty cryogenic chambers. Most of them were empty but a few had people inside. The sight took Tony back to the HYDRA base with the decommissioned Winter Soldiers. The place where he fought one of his best friends. The place where he found out James Buchanan Barnes murdered his parents. His nerves were beginning to get the best of him. He took several deep breaths.

"Um do we have to go this way to leave," Tony whispered nervously.

Natasha turned around and saw his distressed state. She instantly realized the reason why he was still hanging out by the doorway.

"Sorry, this is the only discreet way I could find," she said. She attempted to reassure him. "Don't worry we're almost there. We just have to go through the door over there."

Tony caught up to Natasha and tried to avoid looking around the room. He kept his eyes on the door straight ahead. They were almost halfway across the room when they heard a gunshot. A bullet whizzed past Tony's ear and went into the wall. He turned around to see Headmistress pointing a gun in his direction. He heard Natasha tell him to run. He bolted across the room to door. Much to his luck, the handle was locked. Tony looked back to see where Natasha was in hope that she could open it when he felt something cold on the back of his head.

"You move, there'll be a bullet in your brain," Natasha said coldly.

"Well done, Natalia," Headmistress said. "I'm pleased with today's results."

 _No, no, no, no, no!_   _It's a ruse. It has to be a ruse._

"What did you do to her?" Tony growled. "What did you do to Natasha?"

"She's dead. It is only Natalia now," said Headmistress. "She's been gone a long time now."

"What do you mean by you killed Natasha?"

"I have a way with words."

 _Trigger words._  "You refucked up her brain!"

"Her brain had the words before I got my hold on her again. They don't just disappear. I mean look at Sergeant Barnes."

"She'll break through it. Just like before."

"Oh sweetheart, there's no coming back from this," she assured him. She turned to Natalia. "Clock him."

Tony felt the gun hit his head before falling cold on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a little while guys. Sorry things got busy work, orchestra, and hurricanes. Like Michael who needs to keep his ass in the ocean. Anyway I've been trying to fight off starting a new fic before finishing this one which is kinda holding me back. So now I'm also gonna do chapters for that to get those ideas out of my head while I also work on this one. See you next time.


	17. Tortured By Somebody That I Used to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia tortures Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP to the great Stan Lee. You will be missed. Excelsior!

**Tony’s POV**

 

Tony found himself bound to a chair when he woke up. The room he was in was brightly lit, overwhelming his senses as he struggled to remember what happened. Along the walls of the room, he saw multiple weapons and vials. By his side there was a bucket filled to the brim with what appeared to be water. It wasn’t until he saw the woman who he had thought was his friend watching him from the corner, that his memory was finally jogged. Tony recalled her getting him out of his cell and leading him throughout the facility. She had told him that they were almost out when Headmistress appeared, and Natasha turned on him.  _ Well Natalia. _ Now he was worse off than he was when he was in his cell by the looks of it.

 

Natalia approached him cautiously, taking in closer sight of her the prey caught in her web of lies. She was happy to see Stark like this after having to spend months of his non-stop talking before she was extracted from the room when they weren’t getting any new information from him. Headmistress told her that she could have the fun she wanted with him. By fun, she meant torture, but it would be fun to her. He was no longer use to the Red Room, so she could kill him once she was done.

 

“I see that you’re finally awake,” she said.

 

“What gave it away? The fact that my eyes were open or the obvious look of fear on my face?” Tony said sarcastically.

 

Natalia rolled her eyes in annoyance. Faster than his mind could process, Tony watched as she quickly pulled out a knife which was promptly pressing against his jugular. 

 

“I’m only going to ask you this nicely once. Who is the Spiderman?” she threatened.

“If this is your nice I would hate to see your mean.” he goaded. 

 

Tony was no fool. Despite his joking demeanor, he has seen what his friend was capable of. A part of him knew that he was at a huge risk of dying if he didn’t give up Peter. But at the same time, he was ready to accept his death.  _ Maybe it’ll atone for everything I’ve done. All the lives I’ve taken. _

 

Natalia withdrew the knife from his neck. For a moment Tony believed that she’d given up. Until he sat through the tense moment of watching the blade go down into his hand. He hissed in pain, gritting his teeth to prevent a scream from escaping.  _ A scream would only be a token of satisfaction for Natalia. It would only push her deeper into programming. Stay strong, Tony. For Peter. For Pepper. For Rhodey. For Natasha. For yourself. _

 

The two watched as the blood flowed over his hand. The patter of the blood drops falling to the floor filled the tense silence of the room.

 

“Is that the best you can do?” Tony asked.

 

“No I have other ways of making you talk.”

 

“What if you fail?”

 

“Whether I do or don’t succeed in this little interrogation session of ours, I will be successful in making sure your body is never found.”

 

She pulled the bucket from his side and placed it in front of him. Tony glared at it apprehensively. It reminded him of his time with the Ten Rings. A time that he was not ready to go back to.

 

“Oh, remember this,” she jeered, a smirk appearing on her face. “Because I do. They did this to me while we tried to make you talk earlier. It’s not very fun is it. Almost drowning until you get pulled up to get a breath of air, only to be put back under. I read about what happened in Afghanistan. It’s really a pity you’ll be going through this again. But it won’t need to happen if you just answer by question. Who is the Spiderman?”

 

“I guess I’m going swimming.” Tony said, fear evident in his voice.

 

Natalia grabbed his head and pushed it down into the water. Tony held out for a few seconds before beginning to thrash wildly. Water was getting everywhere before he was allowed to come back up. He gasped for air as he was released from the hold. His eyes were frantically trying to focus on his surroundings while he tried to push back the thoughts from times spent in torture. 

 

“I’m guessing it’s the same answer as before?” Natalia asked.

 

“What are you, psychic?”

 

He found himself back underwater. This time it was even longer than before. Black dots began to cloud his vision as Tony started to slip into unconsciousness. Just as before, Natalia pulled him back up. He sputtered and spat out water that was close to gathering in his lungs. Once again Natalia asked if he was going to tell her Spiderman’s identity. And once more he fired back with a sarcastic answer. She would push him back underwater for a period of time before letting him breathe again. This went on for multiple attempts. Each time was proven to be unsuccessful. 

 

Natalia decided to try another method to get him to talk. She walked over to the wall and retrieved a baton with two metal prongs at the end. She pressed a button activating an electric charge on the prongs. It sizzled as it came to life with the simple motion of her finger. Tony looked on in horror as he realized that it would be her next way of getting him to talk. It was one thing to use electric shock torture on a person. It was wholly different matter if that person was waterboarded shortly before and was still dripping wet.  _ At least I don’t have an arc reactor to worry about keeping me alive. _

 

“Spiderman or no Spiderman?”

 

“No Spiderman.”

 

Tony’s body suddenly felt like it was on fire. It convulsed violently as he screamed in pain. Natalia grinned in glee as she watched him writhe in agony. It seemed to bring a smile to her face that none of his screams would be heard. She retracted the rod from his shoulder and looked on at her victim as his fingers involuntarily twitched from the sudden electricity. Tony’s hair stood up on end. Two small but thick lines were in the form of burns on his pale skin. He breathed heavily as he tried to regain his composure.

 

“I hope you’re ready to talk now,” she said.

 

Tony spat blood at her feet. “Go to hell” he hissed. He was no longer able to weave jokes into his pain.  _ It doesn’t matter anyway. I mean it’s not like it’s her doing this to me anyway. _

 

Natalia held the rod up to his chest, only inches above his skin. “The only one who’s going, is you.” She no longer had use for him. With his constant question dodging, it made her doubt that she was going to get anything out of him, so it was time to get rid of him.

 

Tony prepared himself for the painful death that was awaiting him. The rod was hovering over the scar from where he got his arc reactor removed, the place where his heart lied. He put on a brave face as he got ready to face his fate. But, no amount of mental preparation would be enough to combat the pain he was about to endure. Natalia pushed the rod into his chest. Tony writhed in agony as this time it was worse than before. His screams reached volumes he didn’t think he could reach. Tony began to feel another pain in his chest. He felt as if his heart was being stabbed repeatedly over and over again. Suddenly it felt like it was getting squeezed out of his chest. He realized that he was having a heart attack.  _ I’m going to die. I’m finally going to die. _ Tony tried to smile as he screamed, as in to mock the fact that he was dying.  _ I’ll be free from the pain. Free from the guilt. And myself. _

 

His mind began to separate itself from reality. He thought of Pepper and Peter. His love and his “son” whom he’d move heaven and the Earth for. The former who was probably conducting the search for him. She was the woman waiting for him to come back home. The one who would hang around the lab when he was there just to have a memory of his presence. The latter who was the reason why he was stuck somewhere in Russia, rotting away, as he protected his identity. The kid probably left so many voicemails on his phone, hoping that Tony would pick up.  _ Peter would probably go about it like the way he does his little video diaries. Telling me about his day and how much he misses me. How much he wants me to come home.  _

 

Tony recalled the many moments when Rhodey or Happy had to help him out of trouble.  _ Happy was always the best getaway driver. _ Rhodes was always having to explain to some government official why he thought his actions were justified or apologize for the way Tony was acting. Both men he could go to for advice, laughter, or help. They were there for him after what went down in Siberia. Along with Peter and Pepper, they were the ones that helped him deal with his trauma. Rhodey was the one who got him to start the path to forgiveness, to letting the past go.

 

And even though they weren’t on the best of terms right now, Tony missed the other Avengers. Some more than others. Sam and Wanda he wasn’t as close with, but they had good times. Sam would tag along with him and Clint when he was at the tower to set up pranks. Wanda would always let him help her cook her childhood meals, something he never got to experience when he was younger. Tony missed Clint and his sarcastic humor. And his odd habit of crawling in the vents. He missed Steve more than what he would like. The man always found a way to get under his skin but, he could always count on his support in the long run. Even after their little war, he sent the burner phone, letting Tony know that he could always call him if he needed him.  _ He said something like the world’s gonna need Avengers _ . Tony was still working towards forgiving Steve for not telling him about his parents and leaving him to die in Siberia, but he knew that the universe would find a way to put the team back together.

 

Most of all, he remembered the woman Natalia used to be. The woman who he called friend. _Natasha fucking Romanoff. Natalie. Anastasia. Spidey. Red. Nat. The badass assassin who used to spy on him for the government. His confidante. His drinking partner who always knew when to stop and when to party on. The one I can’t save because she’s being held hostage by a part of herself I didn’t know even existed._ _They’ll find her one day. Ross will find her in this state, and there won’t be any Clint Bartons to save her._

 

Tony began to let go. The pain in his chest was to great, the attack too strong. His vision became fuzzy and his hearing muffled as he walked the line between life and death. He suddenly heard a commotion in the room. The staff was removed from his chest and he heard it quietly clatter on the floor. A few gunshots went off around him, none in his direction. Tony felt his wrists and legs be released from the restraints. A man was talking to him as he was gently lowered onto the floor. The man turned his head to face him, which allowed Tony to catch a glimpse of his savior. All he could see was a glint of metal and a flash of blonde before his eyes rolled back into his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, as y'all can see I started another story because I'm getting ready to wrap this one up. It probably wouldn't have taken so long if I actually wrote out an outline for these chapters instead of coming up with things as I go. Learned my lesson. Anyway thanks for reading and the reviews. Follow me on tumblr at tvlifegirl12. Bye.


	18. They Saved Them From the Fires of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is rescued by some old friends.

**Clint and Bucky's POV**

* * *

Bucky and Clint ran through the hallways in the Red Room facility, killing any agent that came in their path down instantly. They'd already found the Headmistress in her office. Sam and Steve were with her now making sure she stayed unconscious and restrained. They planned on giving her to T'Challa to turn over to the UN. It was a fitting punishment for a woman of her character. It was also a fitting miracle for the group. After months of false leads and dead ends, they'd finally come across a path that lead to what they were looking for. With Shuri's help and access to satellite images, they were able to narrow down locations. This was the finally place that was on the list. Others were found to be empty or filled with other shady organizations, none of which had Natasha with them. If she wasn't here, they'd all be back to square one.

The two arrived in a large room with several cryogenic chambers. Silhouettes of people could be seen inside some of them. Clint peered through the glass of each one that looked to house a person inside, while Bucky kept watch. Much to their dismay and relief, none of them were Natasha. Suddenly, screams pierced the air. Bucky's blood ran cold, fearing for the worst. Clint turned towards the door, deeming that the screams were coming from the room behind it. He attempted to open it, but found it to be locked.

"Move your hand," Bucky said gruffly.

Clint pulled his hand back from the door, before hearing several shots go off on the lock. He nodded at him in approval before kicking the door open. The two barged into the room, finding a blonde Natasha and a restrained Tony. She was holding a modified cattle prod onto his chest as he convulsed.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Natasha it's us. Bucky and Clint," Clint pointed to himself and the assassin. "We're your friends. You can put down the cattle prod now. No need to keep hurting Tony. He's your friend too. Just come with us and everything will be okay. You can leave now. Sam and Steve have the Headmistress in custody. You're safe."

The rod clattered onto the ground.  _Oh thank God._

"Here's the thing," she began with a cold smile. "I'm Natalia."

She landed a swift kick to Bucky's stomach, pushing him out of the room.  _She was definitely not this strong last time I saw her._ She followed him into the larger area as he began to get on his feet. As Bucky held off Natalia, Clint helped the other man get out of his bonds. He felt for a pulse on his friend, as he ignored the gunshots from the fight behind him. To his horror, there was no beat of life to be found. He laid Tony on the ground and began to perform CPR.

While Clint was tending to Tony, Bucky was fighting what seemed to be a brainwashed Natasha without hurting her. He tried to restrain from any deadly hits or weapons, but she wasn't returning the favor. She shot at him multiple times before he knocked her gun out of his hands. Annoyed, but not discouraged, Natalia activated her Widow's Bites.

_Oh shit._

Bucky slightly backed off from the spy, as he wasn't planning on getting electrocuted that day. Each time she took a step towards him, he shifted his position to avoid the fate of being on the wrong end of the rod. The large space allowed plenty distance between the two assassins. It was a game of cat and mouse. Bucky used the cryo-freeze chambers as cover. Every time he turned around Natalia was there. Unknown to him, he was slowly backing up into a corner. He only had one way out, and she was blocking it. And he was running out of time to decide whether or not to take a more offensive approach.

Clint was giving up hope that Tony would rejoin the land of the living when the genius' eyes popped open. They were fearful as he struggled to remember what happened and where he was. He instantly calmed when he saw Clint stooped over him. He tried to sit up, but instantly went back down once the pain set in on his body. Tony gave a weak smile to the archer who had a few tears forming in his eyes.

"Sup Barton," he laughed weakly. "Nice man tears you got there. You weren't crying over little ole me were you?"

"Dude you were dead for three minutes," he stated. "I thought my list of people that I care about just got shorter."

"Can't get rid of me that easily," Tony grinned. "Are you currently being your idiotic self and came alone without any backup or extraction plan?"

"Haha, very funny. No, Sam and Steve are babysitting the Headmistress, and Bucky is fighting Natasha in the other room. Well as she says Natalia, but I'm not calling her that."

"You left Barnes with her!" he scowled. "The guy who's almost succeeded in killing her at least three times."

"They'll be fine. Let's just say they have a complicated history."

"How complicated?" Tony asked him curiously.

"I'll tell you later," Clint said. "First I need to get you out of here. Can you walk?"

"I just died and you're asking me if I can walk?"

"Me and Tasha do it all the time," he said before breaking out into a wide grin. "Guess it's bridal style then."

Tony sighed. "Not a word Barton," he threatened.

Clint lifted him up in his arms, and made his way to the door. His eyes met with Bucky's who somehow managed to find himself in a corner. The assassin looked the two over before breaking out in a silly grin upon seeing the sight of Stark being carried. Though it vanished when he remembered the predicament they were in.

Natalia, taking advantage of the man's sudden distraction, landed a hit on his arm. Bucky could feel the electricity crawling up the metal. He dropped to the ground in pain. To his surprise, his arm was still functioning. Even more was the sight of volts crackling on it.  _The vibranium must have absorbed the energy. I can use this to my advantage._

He saw Natalia running towards Clint and Tony. They wouldn't be able to get out of the way in time as one was carrying the other. Bucky quickly stood up and got to her before she could get to them. He trapped her in a chokehold before zapping her forehead with the absorbed electricity. Her body convulsed before she was rendered unconscious. He hauled her over his shoulder before falling in line with the other two men. They ran down the hallways as the traveled back to Steve and Sam upstairs.

"What the hell was that?" Clint asked.

"I shocked her with her own electricity," Bucky replied. "I guess vibranium holds energy or somethin'. She's still alive if that's what you're wondering."

"Thanks for the update Barnes," Tony said coldly. "I don't know what I'd do if you killed another person I cared about."

Bucky rolled his eyes.  _Even after all he's seen with Natasha, he still won't forgive me for what happened with his parents. She wasn't in control and neither was I. I can't bring them back, and it's not like he'll accept my apology either. Howard was my friend. I will never get over the fact that I killed him and his wife._

The three were silent for the rest of the period in between them escaping and reuniting with Steve and Sam. The four arrived at the Headmistress' office a few minutes after leaving the cryo-chamber room. Bucky knocked on the door in a distinct pattern that he and Steve used to do before the war to let him know that it was just him on the other side. The door opened to reveal the room just as they left it. The Headmistress was still unconscious and tied up in the far corner be watched over by Sam. Steve looked confused to see Natasha draped over Bucky's shoulder. It was only heightened when Clint walked into the room with Tony in his arms. The two held a long stare before being interrupted by Sam clearing his throat.

"Look I know that the three of you aren't on the best of terms right now but we need to leave before she wakes up and get Tony and Natasha some medical treatment," he said calmly.

"Yeah we need to get to the quinjet to make sure Nat stays sedated so she doesn't try to kill us all before we leave," Clint agreed.

"Kill us?"

"She's been activated," Bucky said. "She's not Natasha right now, she's Natalia, the real Black Widow."

"What do you mean by the 'real Black Widow" Sam asked confused by the whole situation.

"He means that she is an emotionless, enhanced operative whose only goal is to kill and get information for her agency," Clint explained.

"Everything that makes her the Natasha we know is stripped away and we're only left with a person who only knows how to fight."

"Like I said we can continue to discuss this in the quinjet, so we don't get killed by brainwashed friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently I haven't posted a new chapter since November of last year. Sorry about that. Anyway Captain Marvel comes out in like two weeks and Endgame in a little bit more than a month. Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you Enjoy!


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